We Don't Care; We Don't Have To

There's an old Saturday Night Live sketch that features Lilly Tomlin (I believe) as an operator for the telephone company. The basic premise of the sketch is summarized with this motto: "We don't care; we don't have to; we're the phone company." Back in the 1970s, one phone company basically had a monopoly on all phone service throughout the US. The result was terrible customer service and constantly-increasing rates. I've been reminded today of this sketch as I've encountered such an attitude of arrogance from a corporation.
<rant>I just found out that the school's current health insurance provider, Blue Cross-Blue Shield of Kansas is now refusing to allow us to be a "group" as defined by their terms. This callous disregard for the needs of a small business disappointed me greatly. Obviously, BCBS's only real concern is making copious amounts of money, and small groups like ours simply are not profitable enough.
Their policy is disappointing, of course, but what they wanted to do was what reminded of the SNL sketch. It shows the callousness and indifference that BCBS has for its "clinets." BCBS wanted to dump all of us who were covered, effective July 1. Now, they came to this decision only in the last week or so, meaning that I would have had about two weeks to hunt for individual health insurance, something I can't really afford, nor would I have been able to get coverage in that short a time span. Did they care about that? Not at all. Were they breaking state law? Absolutely. Our new chief administrator, by the grace of God, found out that according to Kansas law, BCBS must offer all of us who were covered under the group plan the same plan for 6 months, albeit at the higher, individual rate. BCBS was loathe to admit this, of course, but after some hard work, they finally obeyed the law grudgingly. </rant>
It is most disappointing that a company should choose to act in such a cold-hearted way. I have to remember, though, that God is in control, and there is a reason that He has allowed this to happen. I do not understand it, but I have no choice but to trust Him. I know from past experience that He will provide, and I can't wait to see how He'll provide this time.

Politics as usual

If you don't like politics, don't read beyond this paragraph. You can look to the right, though, and see an unusual picture that I took the other day of my cat. For those of you who are interested in politics, read on.
[Sigh] It's politics as usual here in the capital city of Kansas. In a story that ran in today's Capital-Journal, the office of Attorney General Paul Morrison attacked all of former AG Phil Kline's charges against George Tiller, the infamous (or famous, depending on your bias) abortionist. The entire article amounts to a one-sided argument in favor of not prosecuting Mr. Tiller. Never mind that the argument only addresses 15 of the 30 counts against Mr. Tiller. (This, of course, implies that the other 15 have completely legitimate basis, a fact the article completely ignores.) Former AG Kline is vilified as being incompetent and unethical, an accusation that is unfounded and certainly inappropriate in a news story.
Once again, the Topeka Capital-(read "Democrat-") Journal has decided it is necessary to sway public opinion against someone with conservative political views. This "article" (if it could be called that) belongs on the Op-Ed page, not in the regular pages of the paper. That it came from the Associated Press (no friend of conservatives, either) is no excuse. The Capital-Journal should know better than to run such a slanted article. Yet, this is not the first case of one-sided reporting. The paper evidenced such bias during the last election cycle, when it took every opportunity to attack Phil Kline and then-Representative Jim Ryun. It will certainly be interesting to see how much positive coverage Sam Brownback gets as he makes his run for the Republican presidential nomination.

House Picture

Here is a picture of the house. More pictures forthcoming. I'm excited at the thought of getting out of the apartments and into a quieter, larger space. I'm not look forward to the closing costs, of course, but I am grateful to God that I have the ability to get into something even as good as this.

Have Identitiy Thieves Gotten Desperate?

Identity theft has been a problem for years now, especially with the proliferation of Internet phishing scams. Now, however, comes news that identity theft has hit a new market. Read the story here. With this horrendous crime now happening among television's greatest, it's only a matter of time before other wonderful characters also have their identities stolen. So, merchants, be alert. If Scooby Doo ever tries to make a purchase, you should promptly notify Car 54, Dragnet, CHiPs, and Magnum P.I. in order to help put a stop to this TV land thievery!

Home on the Range

It's official! By the grace of God, I was able to find (in my price range, no less) a nice, little house in a good neighborhood. The previous owners took excellent care of it, and the house is about the perfect size for a single guy like me. Even so, it is about 1600 square feet, if you count both the finished and unfinished parts of it. I'll post pictures once I have some. The contract has been signed by all parties, but there's still some details to take care of before close. Lord willing, those will go okay, and I should be able to move in well before my lease runs out on my apartment. Thanks be to God for opening the doors!

It's a Sad Day for a Once Proud Planet

Check out this article about a recent discovery that has further demoted Pluto from its former glory of planethood. It is a reminder that scientists never have all the answers and that even when scientists think they do (Pluto was considered a planet for nearly 50 years), they still sometimes turn out to be wrong.

House Hunting

I've grown tired of my apartment complex, especially having to do laundry in a dirty, poorly-maintained laundry room. The quality of my neighbors is also starting to deteriorate; one of the apartments on my floor has been sealed by order of the Sheriff, which is not a good sign. So, with the help of my parents, I've begun a serious quest to find "a little casa on the mesa." (Bonus points to anyone who can name the movie that quotation is from.) I've learned a few things in just the few days since I've started:
Lesson 1. Topeka has a lot of junky houses.
Lesson 2. There seem to be only two types of houses in my price range: nice houses in terrible neighborhoods, and atrocious houses in great neighborhoods. The first group of houses are fine in and of themselves. They fit but the neighborhood around them (or close by) is slowly suffering the urban blight that seems to plague Topeka. The nicest house that I saw was definitely in the category of a nice house in a decaying neighborhood. The second group of houses would be great if I were a handyman or had lots of money to spend on repairs and upgrades. Unfortunately, I am much better at demolition than I am at construction, and being a private school teacher, I don't have a whole lot of money.
Lesson 3. The phrase "predatory lending" is redundant. I've never been quoted such ridiculously high interest rates and insane mortgage payments as what I've heard from the different agencies and banks that I've talked to. They're quoting me rates that are at least a half percentage point too high for the region.
Lesson 4. I'm going to have to trust God to open the doors, because right now, if I'm going to find a house, it sure seems like it's going to take a miracle only slightly smaller than finding me a wife.

One More NYC Photo

I realize that it's been a month or more since the New York City trip, but I had to add one more picture from the trip. I hope you recognize the object of the picture. :-)

Wind, Wind, and More Wind

It has been a windy day here today. I went running, but I made sure that my route was east-west so I didn't have to fight 25-30 mph sustained winds (with gusts to 40). I did, however, have to run against the wind for about 200 yards or so to get back home. That was the hardest part of the run. I felt like I was going nowhere. It wasn't the worst wind I've ever encountered, though. That happened in February of 1999, when an intense low pressure barreled through Ames, IA, with 40 mph sustained winds with gusts into the 50s. I almost got blown off my feet a couple of times by those gusts.
Hopefully, the wind will die down, soon, and I can run north-south again. There are more routes that are better in that direction.

Yo Soy Arbitro

Yesterday, I refereed a couple of games in the adult league in town. The majority of the teams in the league are Spanish-speaking, which certainly made for an interesting experience. It was enjoyable, actually, to be able to put my minimal knowledge of Spanish to use. One of the men I refereed with knew little English, so I had to try to communicate with him in Spanish. It was a challenge but an enjoyable one. I'll say this, too: I'm glad I wasn't the center. The level of play is far above my refereeing skills. I would have had 22 angry men cussing me out in Spanish if I had been the center for either game. I'm content to be on the line for a while. Maybe one day, my skills will improve to the level where I'll be able to handle a game in this league, but for now, I'll settle for working on the lines and on my Spanish as well. I like to talk with the players during the game as a part of maintaining order. Es dificil cuando yo no puedo recordar las palabaras que son necesarias para conversar con los jugadores. :-)
Hasta luego.

Baseball

As the summer has officially arrived, I can spend some time focusing on a fantasy baseball team that I run in a league with some of my relatives and their friends. It's all in fun, but it still is an interesting challenge. The trickiest part is keeping on top of player injuries and streaks. You want the hot players in, and it's tricky sometimes to get the right mix of players, especially pitchers.
As far as real baseball goes, I enjoy listening to games. Lately, though, there hasn't been much excitement for Royals fans. The Kansas City Royals are the best AAA team playing in the Majors this year!

Summer Begins

With graduation yesterday--and it was a wonderful graduation ceremony...I will miss this class--the summer has officially arrived. Summer is always a bittersweet time for me, as it is for many teachers. It takes a while to adjust to the slower, less-structured pace of the season. Although I need it every year (as do my students, I suspect), I find that I also dread summer just a little. Perhaps it simply is because I am such a creature of habit. I like routine, and it's always difficult to adjust to a new one. Regardless of the cause, I am grateful to God that He stays with me throughout the challenges of switching routines. I couldn't survive the school year without Him, and I know I couldn't survive summer without Him, either.

Addendum: I just got home from the last graduation party, and I realized how much I'm going to miss this class.

More NYC Pictures

Below are a couple more pictures from the trip to NYC. My official duties for the school year end in two days, and I'm looking forward to having a bit of rest in the midst of an otherwise busy summer schedule.
A couple of captions are required. The first picture is of the side of one of the escalators in the Macy's on Fifth Avenue. Notice the number. :-) The second was taken in the Royal Suite at the Waldorf-Astoria. "The queen will see you now," says the Queen's Hong Kong secretary.

Life Right Now

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

And, continuing the trend, here are two more pictures from the New York Tour. The first is of an Arch on the northeast edge of Prospect Park in Brooklyn. The other is of a fountain in Central Park. Both parks share the same designer: Frederick Law Olmstead.

I'm Back

The posts about NYC have postponed indefinitely. In the past week and a half, I have been attempting to survive sans computer. At this point, I still have not recovered all of my data from the spontaneous death of my previous machine. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to find someone who will salvage the old data or not. I pray that they will, but I have, in my attempt to recover the data, managed to do more harm than good.
Anyway, I will be posting again, and I pray that I haven't made too big a mess of things.

Picture from NYC, pt. I

A couple of photos from the recent trip to New York City. The first is of the arch in Washington Square Park, and the second is of one of the many colored displays in Times Square. More to follow in subsequent posts.

Loquacious Cogitation

Numerous spherical conglomerations of dihyrdogen monoxide are failing in their struggle with gravity and rapidly alighting on the carbon-based carpet life form. A sufficient accumulation of these previously airborne particulate-liquid suspensions should force the postponement of tomorrow's contest of association football, bringing elation to the overly-taxed scholars of the ultimate level who have recently been protesting the level of their quotidian workload.
Expressions of gratitude; benevolent nocturnal time frame.

Graduate School Homework

It's sort of like the instructions on the back of the shampoo bottle (lather, rinse, repeat); only for graduate school, it's more like
1. Read
2. Write
3. Repeat
4. Repeat some more
5. Repeat ad naseum

The Emprorer Is Not Pleased...

Yesterday was the due date for taxes, and many people scrambled to file their taxes either online or through the mail. According to reports I've read, the Post Office decided to have a little fun this year, at least in Topeka, by hiring people to dress up as Star Wars characters to "stand guard" over the mailbox as people came to drop off their tax returns. I can just imagine how much fun a guy in a Darth Vader suit could have with people showing up to mail their returns.
[A man walks up to the R2-D2 shaped mailbox. A man dressed in a Darth Vader costume is standing next to it.]
Darth [in perfect James Earl Jones voice]: The Emperor is not pleased with your lack of progress on your taxes.
Man [dumbfound]: Uh....
Darth [pulling out toy light saber]: Paying your taxes is your destiny. The Emperor has foreseen it. Mail your return, and your journey to the Dark Side will be complete.
Man [very confused and scared]: Uh, yeah....
[Man drops the mailbox and hurriedly walks off]

Sparrows

It was such a nice day that I opened up my apartment to the outside air. As a result of having only the screen door open, I could see and hear what was going on outside. The birds were making a ton of noise, and none were noisier than a couple of sparrows (I think they were sparrows) that landed on my deck. There were two, one of which I think was a male because it was brighter-colored. The other one (the female?) landed and spent about ten minutes chirping away happily while the other (the male?) just sat there. It was almost like they were checking out my deck to see if it was a good place to build a nest. Regardless of what they were doing, they got my cat's attention. After tensely listening to the chirping for a while, she started chirping back and hopped off of my lap and ran to the screen door, wanting to get the birds but not sure how to get to them. If you have never heard a cat "chirp" at birds, it is one of the funniest sounds you will ever hear. Perhaps one of these days, I can record a bit of the sound and post it up here.

Forest Ponderings

One of my students got me started on this line of thinking earlier today. I thought it'd be interesting to explore the following questions:
Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?
A: Yes. Sound is defined as the vibration of air molecules by an object. Thus, as the tree falls and hits the ground, it vibrates air molecules (and the ground upon collision), making sound. That no one is there to observe the sound does not negate the existence of it.
Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around, does someone still manage to get government benefits for being hit by it?
A: Yes, most likely, given the government's recent track record. However, it may take 2 or 3 three appeals.
Q: If a man says something in the forest and no woman is in the forest to hear it, is he still wrong?
A: If you are a woman and you are reading this, then you will probably say that the answer is "yes," and I'm not going to argue with you. (Don't argue with a woman; either way you lose.) If you are a man and you are reading this, then you will probably say that the answer is "no." That is, you will answer "no" unless there's a woman within close proximity to you who is also reading this, in which case you will probably answer "yes."
Q: If an airplane crashes in the forest and no one is around, who buries the survivors?
A: Probably their next of kin, whenever they die. Usually survivors aren't buried. President Bush is the exception, of course. He gets buried by the media pretty much every day.
Q: If a liberal theologian says something in a forest and no one is around to hear it, will the media still print it as if he speaks authoritatively for all Christians?
A: The Jesus Seminar voted on this question, and the answer was as follows: 2% casted the red ("definitely") bead, 23% casted the pink ("probably") bead, 30% casted the gray ("maybe") bead, and 45% casted the black ("definitely not") bead. In the process, they also decided that Jesus was married and that He really didn't say most of what the Gospels quote Him as saying. I'm sure that these "facts" will come as a surprise to Him. The results were then immediately published by all the major news outlets.

Americans in Technical Support

I bought an iPod less than a month ago, and to my surprise, when I went to try to use it today, it was dead! It would not charge, reset, or power up. So, after about an hour's worth of searching through Apple's tech support web site and trying everything I could think of to get the silly device to work, I finally called Apple. I fully expected to talk to someone with an Indian accent named "Joe" (of course we know that's not his real name, just as we also know that we have no hope of pronouncing his real name). Instead, I was pleasantly surprised (after enduring the standard automated answering system) to be greeted by an American accent. The tech support guy was helpful, understanding, and recognized that since I bought the iPod less than 30 days, I was entitled to a new one as a replacement instead of a refurbished one. It took about 45 minutes to get the situation taken care of. I have to say that I'm disappointed that the product failed in such a short time. I'm glad that support was so good, though.

Global Warming...On Mars!

I just read an article today that reported that Mars is experiencing warming and has been since the 1970s. <sarcasm>This warming, of course, is quite clearly being caused by human-produced carbon dioxide.</sarcasm> Seriously, it is very interesting to me that Mars is experiencing the same warming as the Earth over the same time as Earth. For Mars, the only apparent cause is increased solar radiation. If the warming on Mars is caused by increased solar radiation, then why are we so quick to blame human activities for the warming here on Earth?

Rain and Mud

On Friday, Topeka set a record for precipitation on that date, 2.22 inches. A similar amount fell over in Lawrence, causing me to expect that the soccer tournament at which I was going to referee would be canceled. I was wrong. The tournament proceed, although the field where I worked had some horrible swampy areas. It was not the most enjoyable field to work on. It wouldn't have been so bad, either, if I hadn't had to do four games in a row, with the hardest one at the end. It was a difficult afternoon of hard work. Thankfully, the heavy rain is done for a while, giving this region a time to dry out.

Destroying Our Future to Pay for the Present

I think it's time for Kansans to wake up and pay attention to what the state Legislature has done. By a 21-19 vote yesterday, the state Senate approved a House measure that would allow for the expansion of gambling in Kansas, including the building of three state-owned casinos. Have we become so desperate for money that we are now willing to build casinos that will, if anything, only increase the number of gambling addicts? Have we become so desperate for money that we are willing to encourage vice in order to get money into the state coffers? It's a sad day for Kansas, as many will discover in about 5-10 years when the full social impacts of these casinos are felt. May God have mercy on our state!

Dead Sea Scrolls

Since it was Spring Break for me, and I was starting to go stir crazy staying around my apartment most of the time, I decided to drive over to Kansas City and visit the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit at Union Station. Surprisingly, getting to Union Station and parking weren't as much of a hassle as I expected. The route to Union Station is easy, and parking in the garage on the west side was free (unless I had stayed longer than 3 hours, which I didn't).
The exhibit itself wasn't as well attended as I expected: I was one of 4 people in the 2:30 group. The majority of the exhibit focused on the background of the scrolls, the community at Qumran (where the scrolls were found), and the political situation in Judea at that time. For the majority of Americans, this background is helpful for them, since their knowledge of Old Testament history is, at best, limited. The scrolls themselves were fascinating to view. There were several different fragments (or replicas, depending) on display. The most interesting part for me was how small the writing was. I can only imagine the amount of care and detail that went into writing the scrolls.
The exhibit was not perfect, though. <rant>Instead of using B.C. and A.D. to designate the appropriate era for a year, the exhibit used the modern, politically-correct (and intellectually disingenuous) labels of B.C.E. and C.E. B.C.E. means "Before Common Era" and C.E. means "Common Era", and A.D. 1 is the same as 1 C.E. In other words, the systems are identical, but someone was bothered by the references to Jesus Christ in the traditional system. So, instead I had to endure a minor slap in the face that denied the importance of the Lord in history. (Besides, there is no such thing as a "common era." The Jews, Arabs, Hindus, and Chinese all use or have used different calendar systems. It is only in the West that B.C. and A.D. are common. Thus, the system is not really about removing religious bias but instead instilling an anti-Christian bias.) </rant>
In spite of this one minor flaw, I enjoyed the exhibit. It was certainly better than sitting around home bored for another day.

Interesting Article

Kerby Anderson of Probe Ministries has recently put up an interesting commentary on global warming, especially in response to Al Gore's "documentary" An Inconvenient Truth. This short article is well worth your time.

Bracket Go Down the Hole

Although I am not totally surprised by it, KU's loss earlier today to UCLA has messed up my bracket, since I had KU reaching the championship game. The only thing that could hurt my bracket more is if Ohio State goes out (which is likely), leaving me without the ability to accumulate any more points. I could tell somewhat early on in the game that this wasn't going to be KU's night. They missed point-blank shots, the referees let the game be very physical, the "neutral" court was in San Jose, close enough to Los Angeles for a sizable contingent of UCLA fans to make its way up to the game. So, add all that together, and you get a KU loss. And with it goes half of my bracket. Oh, well. It's all just for fun, anyway.

Here Come the Storms

Today is the first official day of Spring, also known as the vernal equinox, and just in time, strong to severe storms are breaking out to the north. At this point, it looks like the first line will miss Topeka, but it's good to see Spring-like weather again. If we do get rain--which would be wonderful--I only hope we get what we need and not too much. I really would hate to lose a soccer game due to a swamped field. Only time will tell, though, what God has in store.

Thoughts about a Glass

An optimist says, "The glass is half-full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half-empty."
A cynic says, "Not only is the glass half-empty, but what's left isn't worth drinking."
A meteorologist says, "There's a 70% chance of the glass being half-empty."
A mathematician says, "Liquid occupies 50% of this glass's internal volume."
A conspiracy theorist says, "The glass was put here as part of the government's attempt to cover-up its involvement in the JFK assassination."
A Democrat says, "The glass is half-empty, and it's the Republicans fault!"
A Republican says, "The glass is half-empty, and it's the Democrats fault!"
A Blogger says, "The glass, whether it's half-full or half-empty, at least gives me something to write about..."

And so...

Um, uh, well, that is, you know, eh, and so on, and stuff, like, etc.

It's March, It's Warm

Although a cold front has right now brought blustery north winds to the region right now, the past three days have been beautiful, especially for mid-March. For the first time in my five years as a soccer coach, I was wearing shorts to the first game of the season. Usually, I'm bundled up against freezing temperatures. So, it's been a tremendous blessing lately to have warm weather. Praise God!

No Respect

Kansas State should be in the NCAA Tournament, especially since Texas Tech made it in. There are a couple of other teams that probably also deserve to be in, but I don't know enough about them to comment. I do know that the Big 10 and Pac-10 have too many teams. I have no idea how Stanford made it in, nor do I know how Illinois made it in, either. Georgia Tech, in my mind, is also a question mark, given that they finished 6th in the ACC. Kansas State could have legitimately taken any of those teams spots and could probably beat those teams on any given day. So why was K-State left out? One simple reason: reputation. Those three teams are all perceived to be good, so even if they have a sub-par year, they will be allowed in. K-State will have to have a better year next year in order to get the respect of the Selection Committee. For now, I guess it's NIT time for K-State.

Spring Forward

This weekend is when Daylight Saving Time begins, which means that however groggy you thought you felt last Monday, it will be ten times worse this Monday. The good news about the earlier time switch is that JV soccer games will be much easier to complete because we won't run out of light as quickly. Now, if only the perturbation of my sleep schedule doesn't make me more grumpy. I'm already feeling off because of the changes brought about by soccer season. I am such a freakish creature of habit!

Phenomena

Hymns

Amazing love, how can it be
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me
--Refrain from the hymn "Amazing Love"
There's just something that I like about some old hymns. I'm not quite sure what it is. Perhaps it's the depth of doctrine contained within the good hymns' lyrics. Perhaps it's just what I was raised on. And perhaps it's because it's such a rich part of our cultural heritage. I'm not sure. All I know is that I think that we do a disservice to ourselves in modern Evangelicalism when we ignore them. Too many churches have abandoned hymns, which I think is sad. We should not abandon hymns because in doing so, we lose much depth of doctrine and our ability to understand God's glory.
A disclaimer is in order, though. I am not saying that we shouldn't sing modern praise music. I think that there are some excellent modern praise songs out there that truly reflect God's glory and majesty in a powerful way. Many, however, do not, instead contenting themselves to repeat the same words over and over (and over and over, ad nauseum). (The worst example of this, in my opinion, is the song "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever," which could as easily be titled "I Keep Singing the Same Words Over" because of how often we sing that same trite chorus.) My concern, then, is that in leaving behind the hymns, we have left behind intellectual depth and traded it for worship that is emotionally stimulating but intellectually devoid.
One complaint about the old hymns is that they are boring. This complaint is, to be honest, valid sometimes. I'm not a huge fan of any song if it's played lugubriously. Too often in the past, especially in the mainline churches, the organist would play hymns at a tempo more appropriate for a dirge than a song of praise. Granted, there are hymns out there that should be played slowly, but slow hymn playing (as if to encourage greater pondering of the lyrics) only allows the minds of the singers to wander. On the other hand, played correctly, a hymn can be intellectually and emotionally powerful. Few songs, for example, have the power to touch me better than the third verse of "Holy, Holy, Holy."
Holy, holy, holy
Though the darkness hide Thee
Though the eye of sinful man
Thy glory may not see
Only Thou art holy
There is none beside Thee
Perfect in power, in love and purity
This verse declares to all that, no matter how bad circumstances become, God is immutable, always holy, even if no one holds Him to be so. Few songs, especially modern, hold such sound doctrine.
Contrarily, many modern songs have very little doctrine in them. Most focus on our relationship with God and sound almost like (or sometimes exactly like) contemporary love songs. While it is good to love God, He is more than simply "a beautiful one [we] love." He is the Creator of the universe. Perfectly approachable, yes, but also perfectly holy. We need to remember that He is both our Father and our King, and treat Him appropriately in our worship.
For that reason, I think it is good to sing both modern praise songs and the traditional hymns. When played appropriately, a good hymn is engaging to the mind and the emotions, stirring the whole of the worshiper into praise of his Creator. So, let us not forget the traditional hymns of the faith, even as contemporary songsmiths craft new songs to express adoration in different ways.

Only in Kansas

Yesterday, it was a beautiful day, as we were situated perfectly in the warm sector. The high was about 70 degrees, and it even got warm enough for thunderstorms. The lightning show off to the southeast of Topeka (80 miles SE) was one of the most wonderful and beautiful displays of God's creation that I have ever seen.
Then, there's today. It snowed this morning, the temperature never cleared 40, and a bitter north wind made the wind chill somewhere in the low 30s. That forced the first day of soccer practice to be inside. Sigh.
There's hope for next week, though. The long-term forecast calls for temperatures to be back into the 50s. Let's hope so. Indoor practices are tough.

An unusual amenity

Notice the next-to-last "feature" listed in this advertisement (I've circled it for you) for a hotel here in Topeka. It's a bit unusual, wouldn't you say? If you're having trouble reading the picture, click on the picture for a larger version.

Ash Wednesday 2007

I can't believe that Lent is already here! Being in a non-liturgical church certainly makes it hard to keep track of the times and seasons that have been traditionally observed by the church in much of its history.
While it is found nowhere in Scripture, I think that there is some validity in taking time (granted, we should do it frequently) to ponder the depths of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ in anticipation of celebrating His resurrection in about a month and a half.
Traditionally, today has been a day marked by remembering our own weakness and inability to save ourselves. It is today, Ash Wednesday, that we remember that from dust God made us and to dust we will one day return. We can do nothing on our own to save ourselves. This makes the antoning sacrifice of Christ that much more amazing. Praise God for His amazing mercy, even to a ball of dust such as I.

Thoughts and Notes

You know it's a bad day when...
You dream that you go to an away basketball game, and the court's too small.
You snap at your students for no apparent reason.
You arrive home from working out and there are two police cars parked in front of your apartment building.

A couple of unusual headlines (with commentary) from today:
1. From CNN.com: "U.N. Needed to Thwart Asteroid Threat" (Right, just what we need--the U.N. After all, look at all the great work they've done in the last 10 years in dealing with problems in Iraq, North Korea, Iran, the Sudan, Rwanda, Israel...)
2. From FoxNews.com: "Sen. Clinton says South Carolina should remove flag from Statehouse grounds because U.S. should unite under one flag" (Exactly, the flag of a massive, centralized bureaucracy that provides low-quality nationalized health care and tons of other entitlements. Oh, I can't wait for the taxes. I'll have to make sure I move it into the 'hood before she gets elected President because I won't be able to afford to live somewhere even marginally safe anymore.)

Snow?!

It's been a rough winter for weather forecasters. As late as Wednesday, they were saying that the temperature today was supposed to 40 degrees under partly cloudy skies. However, a small snowstorm moved through for about 2 1/2 hours this afternoon, <rant>causing our basketball Senior Night to be canceled because the other team didn't want to risk coming in from KC.</rant> Needless to say, I am displeased. It's not fair to the seniors, who have worked for four years and now won't get any recognition. Such is life, but it's disappointing that the forecasters can't do a better job.
So far this winter, every forecast of a major snowstorm even one day in advance has been a bust. Now, we have only a same-day warning about this mini-storm, and it's enough to scare our opposition out of driving in to play us. Sigh.

Mystery of English

Why is it that "ode" and "odious" sound so much alike?

Today's Post

It's Wednesday. It's February 14. I have nothing to say. Thank you. Good night.

Alternate Hot Drinks

I don't like coffee, and I don't like tea. However, there are some cold mornings when I would like to drink something warm with breakfast. Hot cocoa just isn't right for some reason, so I thought I'd try an experiment: hot cola. I normally drink pop at room temperature, anyway, so the thought of it heated to the same temperature as tea is not as repulsive to me as it is to some. Still, would it taste fine?
To find out, I took about 4 ounces of a name brand cola, poured it in a microwave-safe cup, and heated it for the appropriate amount of time. The resulting beverage was unpleasant to drink. It lost some of its carbonation due to heating (the carbon dioxide is already loosely embedded in the drink, heating only exacerbated the degassing process). It lost the crisp, sweet taste that I normally associate with this particular cola. Instead, it was more of a semi-flat, semi-syrupy, mostly disgusting concoction. I now know why people do not serve colas hot. They taste terrible.
The question to solve now: what to drink? What warm beverage could I drink in the morning that is neither tea nor coffee nor cocoa? That question will have to be put on hold for another day.

Better Late Than Never?

I received something quite unusual in the mail today. Arriving in a specially-designed envelope was my own shrink-wrapped copy of ETS's GRE PowerPrep (tm) software. This fancy software is designed by ETS to help people who are going to take the GRE prepare for the rigors of the test.
Now, there's just one little problem with me receiving this software: I already took the test! In fact, I took it over a month ago and already have received my scores. So, what, exactly, am I supposed to do with this CD-ROM? I already have enough coasters (thank you, AOL), and CD-ROMs don't make good frisbees. So, I guess I'll just store it in case any I know ever decides to try his hand at the GRE. I can probably get the software to him faster than ETS apparently can.

Where Have I Heard This Before?

Which is Better: Persuasion or Force?

Abstract
People have always been trying to make each other do something that they do not want to do. Ever since Satan tricked Eve in the Garden of Eden, there have been two primary methods for enforcing one's will upon someone else: persuasion and force.
This experiment examines these two methods and attempts to determine which is better. It was hypothesized that force would work better than persuasion because force works no matter how willing the subject is. The experiment, however, showed the opposite, that persuasion is better than force. The implications of this result are far reaching.

Paper
Which is better: persuasion or force? This experiment examines these two methods and determines which is better.
A little background is required first. Ever since Satan tricked Eve in the Garden of Eden, there have been two primary methods for enforcing one's will upon someone else: persuasion and force (Nonymous, 15). Force is defined as "to compel through pressure or necessity" (Dictionary, 522). Persuasion, on the other hand, means "the act of persuading or being persuaded" (Dictionary, 926). Thus, these methods taken together show different paths that one can take in order to enforce one's will upon someone else.
Force has been used for a long time. The Israelites took the Promised Land through force (Joshua, NIV). Alexander the Great used force when he conquered much of the known world (Heroditus, Books I-VI). Other examples include... [Editor's note: The remainder of this paragraph removed because of space considerations.]
Likewise, persuasion occurred just as often. Satan persuaded Eve to eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, bringing a curse on all humanity (Genesis 3, NIV).... [Editor's note: Section removed due to space limitations.] Finally, modern politicians often persuade the public to vote for them by making all sorts of bizarre promises that they have no hope of keeping.
My hypothesis for this experiment was that force would be better than persuasion, since force can work even when the subject is unwilling. To test this hypothesis, an experiment was conducted using a man, the north wind, and the sun. The man had a loose-fitting cloak that he wrapped around his shoulders. Then, the north wind and the sun would each take a turn attempting to get the man to remove his cloak. The participants would be timed with an ordinary stop watch. This process was repeated three times to ensure reproducible data. A coin was flipped to determine who would go first for the first trial. After that, the participants would alternate throughout the remainder of the experiment.
The north wind won the toss and thus went first. Using all his force, the north wind blew as hard as he could against the man, causing his cloak to flap around like crazy. The man, however, only held onto his cloak harder. The man never removed his cloak. The results from each of the three trials for the wind are summarized below in Table 1.
Table 1 -- North Wind's Results
Trial Time
1 Infinite
2 Infinite
3 Infinite
Overall, the north wind's three trial times averaged out to infinity. He failed to dislodge the man's cloak.
The sun went second during each trial. Instead of using force, he beamed down gently on the man, causing him to become warmer and warmer until eventually the man took off his cloak. The results from the sun's trials are shown in Table 2.
Table 2 -- Sun's Results
Trial Time
1 5 minutes, 23 seconds
2 8 minutes, 10 seconds
3 1 minute, 1 second
Overall, the sun's average time was 4 minutes, 51 seconds. The sun successfully dislodged the man's cloak during each trial.
Based upon the data, my hypothesis has been proven incorrect. Persuasion is better than force. The results of this experiment are far-reaching, affecting parent/child, student/teacher, and even dictator/oppressed-peasant relationships.

Bibliography
1. American Heritage Dictionary. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1991.
2. God. The Holy Bible, New International Version. Grand Rapids, MI: International Bible Society/Zondervan, 1984.
3. Heroditus. Histories. Athens: Ancient Greek Scribes, 440 BC.
4. Nonymous, Alexander. Methods for Enforcing One's Will upon Others. Tehran, Iran: O-PRESS-ion, 2007.

Only English

I was pondering how wonderful the English language was earlier today, and I was amazed at how many ways there are to express laziness. There's a sense of contradiction in this fact. Since laziness implies a lack of effort or activity, why is it that so much effort has been exerted to describe it? In case you doubt, here is a quick list of words that connote or denote laziness in one form or another: (Feel free to suggest any others you might think of)
1. lazy (obviously)
2. indolent
3. lethargic
4. inert
5. sluggish
6. inactive

Admittedly, some of those may be a stretch, but my own indolence hinders me from considering it more now.

Psalm 73

Some days, the Psalm expresses exactly how I feel. Thinking about this Psalm always helps me get my thoughts back in the right direction.

A Few Scattered Thoughts

After listening to the State of the Union address last night and reading a book on the history of the Brooklyn Bridge tonight, I am reminded more than ever of these wise words: "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9, NIV).
In each case, one could but change a few details and have a thousand other circumstances. As a result, history should be our greatest teacher, and yet what we see in society is nothing other than an entire generation (at least) ignorant of history. Even the supposed academics have no understanding of what went before them, as they propose the same foolish ideas that their predecessors did, albeit in other guise. We need to return to an understanding of what has been done before, for the incidents of the past will become the incidents of the future.
History can teach us much, and its grandest lesson is that a society that ignores God and refuses to acknowledge Him and His precepts will not long endure. How long do we think that we can, as a nation, thumb our nose at God and expect Him not to bring our society to judgment? Where is our hope? In saying, "God bless America?" No, it is rather the reverse, "America Bless God."

Disturbing Bill

This is about politics, so if politics aren't your thing, jump down to the previous post and enjoy the cloud picture again. :-)
A disturbing bill is working its way through the U.S. House and Senate. If you want to read about it, you can go to the American Center for Law and Justice's page about it here and read either the executive summary or the full analysis. Look especially at Section IV on page 25 of the full analysis. If it's too much legalese for you, try a brief overview article from Worldnet Daily as quoted by the ACLJ site.
If I understand the ACLJ's analysis correctly, the bill would appear to define churches as "grassroots lobbying organizations" (and thus subject to numerous burdensome reporting and registration restrictions) if the pastor or other staff were to encourage the congregation (which would include non-members) to contact their legislator about a certain issue, e.g. the Federal Marriage Amendment. In other words, organizations that urge people (unless the audience is entirely members) to become involved in the political process would be classified as lobbying organizations, even though they are not directly lobbying Congress.
Meanwhile, because of how the bill defines "grassroots lobbying organization," labor unions would be allowed to continue their activities basically without restriction. Hmmmm, I wonder who wrote this bill. Could it be the Democrats?
Anyway, this bill appears to be an unnecessary restriction of the public's right to petition the government for redress of grievances. Now, you may be asking, what's the big deal? I don't see anything horrendous or outrageous here. The big deal is that organizations that do nothing more than encourage participation in the political process are being targeted with unnecessary restriction. The result could easily be a less-informed electorate (a scary thought considering how uniformed many voters already are).
Above all, it concerns me that this is a gradual eroding of our freedoms. Without falling guilty to a slippery slope fallacy, I am concerned about where this might lead in the future. Could we see a day that it is very difficult to exert legitimate public pressure upon on our elected leaders? Could we wind up living in an oligarchy instead of a democratic republic? Only time will tell.

Snow, pt. II

It was a beautiful morning as I left for church. Three inches of newly-fallen snow blanketed the ground and muffled into silence the incessant, dull roar of the city. Overhead, scattered clouds dotted the sky, reflecting the morning colors of the sun as it peaked from behind its veil in the east. Praise God for such beauty!

Snow!

Yeah, snow!

Sunset on Fire

I found this picture while I was browsing through my photo archives for a presentation to the Kindergarteners on clouds. It's one of the most vivid "fire" sunrises that I have ever seen. Enjoy!

Dressed Like a Penguin on an Icy Night

(Insert your favorite penguin joke here.) :-)
A big thank you to Livingston's Formal Fashions for the tuxedo. It was one of the most comfortable and best looking tuxedos I have ever worn.

Clouds: A Postscript

Even though the series on clouds is over, I wanted to take a moment to show off a few of the more beautiful pictures of clouds that I have. The reason? Simply to glorify God for His creativity. The different amazing displays that He can produce with such simple elements as water, air, and sun never cease to amaze me. I hope you enjoy this sequence of pictures!

Upper-Level Clouds

The series on clouds concludes with a discussion about upper-level clouds. These clouds are high enough up in the atmosphere that they are almost exclusively composed of ice crystals. Their composition allows them to take different shapes than their lower-in-the-atmosphere cousins. The most common type of cloud at this level is the cirrus cloud. In the first picture above, the wispy clouds that seem to be streaking away from the main body of the cloud are cirrus clouds. They have an almost fibrous look to them. The second picture contains both cirrus clouds and cirrocumulus clouds. Notice that even the cumulus clumps seem to lack the sense of substance that the cumulus and altocumulus clouds had. Finally, the last type of upper-level cloud is a type of cloud unique to our modern area. The third picture shows several straight clouds that look like paths in the sky. These clouds are contrails (from the combination of condensation trail) and form as the result of air cooling as it passes over the wings of an airplane. These contrails may last for just a few minutes or persist for several hours, depending on the conditions in the region where they form. While it may seem surprising, it appears that these contrails have an effect on the weather. A study done of temperatures reported on the day of the September 11 attacks (when all planes were grounded and no contrails formed), found that the average temperature was warmer than it was on September 10 or September 12 and that this increase was not the result of other phenomena.
This is probably the end of the series on clouds. It's been a pleasure to share a few of my cloud pictures with you, and I hope you've enjoyed this little primer on clouds.

Mid-Level Clouds

We now move our discussion of clouds from the low-level clouds to mid-level clouds. Like low-level clouds, mid-level clouds can be broken down into cumulus and stratus varieties. Altostratus clouds, however, are so boring to photograph that I have not included any pictures here. Altocumulus clouds are distinguished from their counterparts by their apparent size. An individual element with an altocumulus field will appear to be about the size of one's thumb. Altocumulus clouds form some of the most beautiful patterns in the world.
The two pictures above are good examples. The first picture is of what I call a "streak." This pattern of altocumulus clouds formed during a beautiful summer day here in the Central Plains. The unusual aspect of this formation is that it was alone in the sky. The second picture is among my favorite cloud patterns. Since the clouds form a pattern like the scales of a fish, it is often called a mackerel sky. Sometimes this pattern will stretch from horizon to horizon, as it did on the autumn day when I took the picture. This fascinating patterns attests to the order of the Creator of the world.

Low-Level Clouds, pt. II

As we continue our discussion of low-level clouds, we turn our attention to the second general classification of clouds: stratus. Stratus clouds can be identified by their almost uniform appearance. They look like a sheet of gray that covers all or part of the sky. As a result of their uniformity, they are among the most boring clouds to photograph. The two pictures above show examples of stratus clouds. (In the first picture, incidentally taken in Turkey, the stratus clouds are in the background, not the foreground, which is a cumulus fragmatus or scud.) In each case, although there may appear to be some variation within the cloud structure, the clouds do not form the "cotton-ball" texture of cumulus clouds.
Stratus clouds may simply cover the sky without producing rain, as in the case of the first picture, or they may be a variation called nimbostratus. "Nimbo," as it does in the word cumulonimbus, signifies rain. Thus, nimbostratus clouds, such as those in the second picture, are rain-producing stratus clouds.
The final type of stratus cloud that I should mention is one that we are all familiar with, even though few of us have ever taken a picture of it or enjoyed it: fog. Fog is in reality a cloud that has formed at or near ground level. While there are several possible mechanisms for the fog forming, the end result is usually some type of stratus cloud. So, if you've ever wondered what it would be like to be inside a cloud, remember what it was like the last time you walked or drove through fog. You'll have your answer.

Low-Level Clouds, pt. I

In this post, we'll look at three examples of one of the two types of low-level clouds: cumulus clouds. Low-level clouds, incidentally, are those clouds that have bases that start at no more than 6500 feet.
Cumulus clouds are the type of cloud that most people think of when they think of clouds. These clouds can be recognized by the "clumped" shape. (Stratus clouds, on the other hand, are smooth, as we'll see in the next post.)
The first picture is of a cumulus humilus (fair-weather cumulus). Clouds like this show limited vertical development and indicate that the atmosphere is stable, at least at the moment. These clouds are among the most beautiful.
The second picture is a distant picture of a distant cumulonimbus. Cumulonimbus clouds (also know as thunderheads, et al.) technically cannot be assigned to any given level, since they often reach up many thousands of feet. However, I've included them here since they often start at the low levels of the atmosphere. These clouds form during the summer months and are responsible for most strong and severe storms. They start life as a simple cumulus humilus, but if the atmospheric conditions are right, they will grow into the intimidating towers like the one seen in picture number two.
The final picture is of the sky on a particularly turbulent day. No rain or other significant weather occurred with them, but they are fascinating to look at. The cloud base is not smooth at all. Although I'm not 100% sure of its cause, I would guess that what happened was that right above the clouds is a layer of stability, while the air below was highly unstable. The result is that a wave-type motion developed, creating the bizarre patterns that we see.

Rambling: Merry Christmas

More about clouds in subsequent posts. For now, have a merry and blessed Christmas!

Rambling: Clouds

Stop sometime and just look at the clouds. They are fascinating in and of themselves. All they are is innumerable water droplets suspended in the air thousands of feet above the ground. Yet within them can be seen patterns and shapes on an otherwise calm day. At sunset and sunrise, they catch the long wavelengths of the sun's rays and reflect the myriad of colors to our eager eyes. What an amazingly simply and beautiful creation clouds are! What a God to think of something like that!

Clouds have always fascinated me. As a kid, I used to love to look up into a deep azure sky on a calm summer afternoon and pretend that I was floating along in the clouds. What I never noticed as a kid, though, is that there are numerous different cloud types. Clouds are classified first by their altitude then by their appearance and composition. The three levels are low level clouds, which have no prefix, mid-level clouds, which have the prefix "alto-" and high-level clouds, which have the prefix "cirro-." The appearance of a cloud determines the second half of the name: cumulus, stratus, and other words describe the different structures.
If I remember, over the next several posts, I'll go through the different types of clouds and describe a little bit about them, complete with as many pictures as I have.

Rambling: Next Time, Try Swiss Cheese

So, I'm sitting around thinking about something to write, and I attempt to post a picture. However, since I've migrated to a newer version of Blogger, the program I use won't let me post it. That's too bad, too, because it is an unusual picture.
Instead of the picture, then, I've decided to write whatever comes to my mind. .....................
Well, it appears I have writer's block, which is sort of like being blocked in football, only it's more like being stuck under a block of wood, because it's sort of an oppressive feeling that lingers on the edge of your mind, mocking you, "Ha ha! You think you're so smart but you can't think of anything to write! Next time, start with Swiss Cheese as a prompt and see where that leads you."

Well, here goes. Swiss cheese. Swiss Miss. Cocoa. Glad, liederhosen-clad Swiss yodelers. Riccola!!!!!!!!!!!

Rant: Analogies on Standardized Tests

<rant>I spent some time tonight preparing for the GRE, which I have to take in order to start my graduate coursework. (Don't worry, I'm still going to be teaching. The classes are only in the summer.) I did a little bit of practice on the verbal sections, and, as usual, when I came to the analogies section, I struggled a little. Why? Because the analogies that they sometimes draw are so abstruse that someone with a Ph.D. in English couldn't figure out the correct answer!

Consider this made-up example that mimics what I see far too often on GRE-type tests:
HAPPY : JOYFUL ::
A. LUCKY : MYTHOLOGICAL
B. SAD : MELANCHOLY
C. ANGRY : PERTURBED
D. HOPEFUL : FORWARD-LOOKING
E. CLEVELAND : OHIO

So, what's the answer? Well, if you look carefully at the options, there are at least two answers that would work, perhaps 3. (E is not correct, however...sorry.) The problem is that the relationship between happy and joyful is more complex than a simple analogy can cover. The result? Wrong answers because I don't think like the test takers!
Here's an analogy that I think should be on every GRE and SAT:
ANALOGIES : VERBAL ABILITY
A. HAPPINESS : SADNESS
B. GOOD : BAD
C. INTELLIGENT : STUPID
D. POSITIVE : NEGATIVE
E. DAY : NIGHT
</rant>

Commentary: Absurd Iran

Iran is at it, again. This time, they are preparing to host a conference on whether or not the Holocaust took place. The conference, which will take place tomorrow and Monday, is somewhat akin to Satan holding a conference on the existence of God. Do all of these highly-educated political experts really believe the drivel that they are spouting? I don't think so. If there were a Nobel Prize for Most Disingenuous Conference, this one would win it hands down. The Holocaust is one of the most well-documented events in modern history, and the attendees at this conference know it. They are choosing instead to pretend that they don't know for the sake of justifying their own political agenda.

Basically, I think that Iran is looking to gather a group of yes men who will provide it with "legitimacy" in attacking Israel (especially once Iran gets nuclear weapons) and attempting to wipe it off the map to reclaim "Muslim" lands. Of course, this ignores that the fact that Israel occupied those lands long before Islam existed and that the Muslims swept in nearly 1000 years after the Jews had been driven from the region by Rome.
So, as the absurdity continues in the Middle East occurs, I pray that our political leaders in this country take notice of the irrational behavior they're witnessing and develop appropriate policies for handling the situation. These countries will not behave in the same ways that the Soviet Union did. Our policies need to change to reflect this.

Rambling: Movie Quotation IV

This line randomly popped into my head today as I was thinking about how different things have been this week for me. The word "different" triggered this little exchange from a movie. See if you can guess the movie.
Young man: Well, I already told you...I want to do something different.
Father: So put some Jell-o down your pants!

Muppets Take Manhattan

Commentary: "Huricane" Season

It's official. The 2006 hurricane season is now officially over. Yesterday was the final day, and the NOAA forecast that this season would be significantly above average in terms of activity and severity has been a bigger bust than Ryan Leaf was for the San Diego Chargers.

Why the error? One simple reason: we are not God. We don't control the weather. We don't even fully understand it, which makes it hard for us to forecast conditions even 24 hours in advance. So, as the media attempts to bring us more doom and gloom forecasts about out of control global warming, we need to keep in mind that these forecasts could be just as easily in error as the hurricane forecast was this year.

Rambling: Sudden Change in Weather

The last two days have been the epitome of Kansas weather. Yesterday, Topeka set a record high of 73 degrees. It was a beautiful day, more like Spring than Fall. Today, on the other hand, saw an arctic cold front blast into the region, bringing with it freezing rain, sleet, and a chance for snow. The high for today of 43 occurred at a little after midnight. That seems downright balmy compared to the current conditions: 25 degrees with a wind chill of 15. Nearly a fifty degree swing in 24 hours! Amazing! What a fascinating and varied world it is that God has made.

"Discovery, go to throttle up."

Rambling: It's Too Early

It's already started. Thanksgiving is over. And with Thanksgiving over, almost everyone has their eyes set on one thing: Christmas. (This excludes retailers who've been putting Christmas decorations since October.) Already radio stations are rolling out the Christmas music. For me, though, it's too early. Advent, the season on the Liturgical calendar that precedes Christmas, doesn't begin until next Sunday, December 3rd. And like the calendar, I'm just not ready for Christmas to start, yet.

I'll never understand what it is that so many people find so attractive about Christmas that they feel it necessary to start celebrating the holiday months and months in advance. Don't get me wrong. I rejoice in the Incarnation, that God so loved the world that He chose to come as a child, grow up, and die on the cross for our sins. But for me, it's possible to overload on all the "joy." "Hark the Herald Angles Sing" is nice to hear for a while before it (and every other Christmas carol, secular or sacred) becomes trite.
Now, once Advent hits, you can be sure that the tree will come out and that the Christmas songs are going to be on my iTunes playlist. But until then, I'm going to be jumping stations on my radio every time Christmas songs come on. Anything more would only result in "Christmas overload."

Rambling: Ones and Zeroes

10010010 11001011 10011111

Forbes Tower, Cessna November 734837 is 9 miles Northeast with November, requesting vectors to the active, to land.

Rambling: Bad Analogies

From deep within the archives, here's a little English lesson on analogies for your reading pleasure.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m.traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.


The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

Commentary: Uh, What?

Read this bizarre story, courtesy of ABC News. The basic gist is that Iran's ambassador to the UN has complained about Israel threatening to bomb Iran. He has demanded that the Security Council order Israel to quit threatening Iran.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Okay, I'm back. Sorry about that; I couldn't help it. That is probably one of the most absurd statements I have ever read. Here is Iran, whose President consistently has called for Israel to be wiped off the map and whose country is attempting to develop nuclear weapons, protesting that Israel is considering acting to prevent such an attack. It must have been "Pull a Prank on the UN Day" or something, because I can't imagine anyone in his right mind actually sending such a letter to the UN and meaning it. Just more unusual behavior from the world's most unpredictable political regime.

It's sort of like Iran saying, "Mommy, brother's threatening to hit me back!"

Rambling: Bad Connection

I just got a sales call from my phone company. I've been trying to avoid them for several days because I really am satisfied with my service as it is and don't want to make any changes. However, tonight I finally answered the phone. However, the connection was quite bizarre. The conversation went something like this.

Me: Hello?
Heard on the phone in my voice (Phone): Hello?
Some guy from India (SGFI): Hello?
Me: Hello?
Phone: Hello?
SGFI: (Something indistinct)
Me: Hello?
Phone: Hello?
SGFI: May I speak with _________, please?
Me: This is he
Phone: This is he
SGFI: Mr. ___________ I am calling on behalf of _____, your current phone company. I want you to know that this phone call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes. How are you today, sir?
Me: Okay
Phone: Okay
SGFI: That's good sir. The reason I am calling, sir, is that we have some wonderful new packages that could save you a lot of money on your telephone bill. How much are you currently paying for your phone service, $50, $60?
Me: Hang on
Phone: Hang on
SGFI: Okay, sir
[Random noise as I grab my headset and try to use it instead of just my cell phone)
Me: Okay
Phone: Okay
SGFI: Okay
Me: I'm afraid we've...
Phone: I'm afraid we've...
Me: ...got a terrible connection
Phone: ...got a terrible connection
SGFI (probably not believing me): Oh, I see
Me: I can hear...
Phone: I can hear...
Me: ...myself twice, better than you
Phone: ...myself twice, better than you
SGFI (still confused and not sure what to do): So, we have some great packages available
Me: I'm quite happy...
Phone: I'm quite happy...
Me: ...with my current service
Phone: ....with my current service
SGFI: I see, sir. Thank you for your time. You may call us at _____________. Have a nice day.
Me: Thank you
Phone: Thank you

I don't know what system they were using to transmit the phone call between the cell system and India, but it was not working at all. It was very disconcerting to hear yourself twice (hear yourself twice). That leaves me with only one question to ponder: does this mean that I am beside myself?

Rant: Election Results

<rant>I'm frustrated and saddened by the current election results. People are out voting against President Bush by voting out quality, Republican candidates and by voting in candidates from the Democrat party who, I fear, are going to do serious damage to this country. Meanwhile, the media is busy gloating as much as possible. They're all smiles and laughing because they have to know that they are the ones who are responsible for the public disliking Bush. They have successfully manipulated the foolish American public by all the negative reporting on Iraq. (A question just asked on the tv, "What could the Republicans have done differently to win?" My answer: have allies in the news media the way the Democrat party does.) Congratulations to the news media! They're the real winners of this election.</rant>

The only question I still have: When will my taxes go up by $2500 a year? I need to know when I'm not going to be able to afford to live in safe, acceptable housing.

Commentary: Election Tomorrow

The election is tomorrow. Go out and vote! If you're not sure which candidates to vote for, check out your local paper, which should have published a voter guide yesterday. There's probably version of it also at your local paper's website.
With the election tomorrow, I realized that it was time for me to betray my obvious political bias (just like a certain local Topeka paper that will remain nameless) and comment on each of the state-wide races, including my endorsement for each position.

Governor
Incumbent: Kathleen Sebelius (D). Challenger: Jim Barnett (R).
Analysis: Sebelius, with a campaign bank account that could go a ways to alleviating the national debt, has outspent Barnett about 10 to 1. In her previous four years in office, in my opinion, Sebelius has done very little except appoint liberal, activist judges and show up at photo opportunities. Notably, she sat by while the state's Supreme Court violated the state Constitution and ordered the Legislature to come up with a half billion dollar education funding increase that the state couldn't afford. After the Legislature (at metaphorical gunpoint from the court), passed a spending package sure to bankrupt the state, Sebelius, who had nothing to do with it, promptly stepped in to take credit for it.
Endorsement: Jim Barnett. His proposals, while modest, at least show some awareness of the situation and a willingness to fix the financial crisis in which Kansas will find itself in the next two or three years. Barnett is an intelligent man, more mainstream than the left-leaning Sebelius, and a better candidate for governor than we've had in years.
Prediction: Sadly, money is what wins elections, and Sebelius and her bloated war chest will probably carry the day, unless large numbers of conservative and moderate get out to vote her out of office.

Attorney General
Incumbent: Phill Kline (R). Challenger: Paul Morrison (D)
Analysis: You knew this campaign would be ugly when Morrison switched parties just so he could run for attorney general. Morrison's campaign has showed no integrity, assailing Kline's character at every turn, misrepresenting Kline's views on every issue, and overall just flat out lying about everything. (Unfortunately, Kline has fired back with just as much negativity and dirt. I'm disappointed in that. Still, I'm more disappointed that Morrison's not been taken to task for his own negativity.)
Endorsement: Kline. Between Morrison's switch of parties and his taking of significant amounts of money from abortionist George Tiller (despite Morrison claiming to be anti-abortion), Morrison has not shown the character necessary for attorney general. While Kline has not run a good campaign, he is by far the better choice because of his strong stand against abortion and his effective work in the past four years.
Prediction: Kline by 1%. Morrison gained initial momentum while Kline's campaign was sitting around on its thumbs. By the time Kline made an attempted comeback, he was forced to go negative, which I fear may turn off a lot of uninformed voters. However, I think the conservative vote and a lot of grassroots efforts will just be enough to allow Kline to squeak by.

U.S. House, District 2
Incumbent: Jim Ryun (R). Challenger: Nancy Boyda (D)
Analysis: Two years ago, Boyda's campaign slogan could have been "I'm just like Jim Ryun." That was all she ever said. She had no good ideas--indeed, no ideas at all--and she still managed to challenge Ryun somehow. This time around, her campaign slogan could easily be "I'm not Jim Ryun," and she still has no ideas. She has no specifics about any plan at all, and seems to be campaigning for change, although she won't say what kind of change she would bring.
Endorsement: Ryun. He's a strong, solid leader who listens to Kansans and votes for their views, even standing up to President Bush when necessary. Ryun has been an effective representative for years, and it would be a shame to lose him just because of frustration with Bush's handling of Iraq.
Prediction: Once again, the Democrat candidate is out-spending the Republican (where is all this money coming from, anyway?). This time, however, I think that Ryun will win. It will be closer than last time because of public irritation with Iraq, but enough of the 2nd district realizes that Boyda is bad for Kansas that she will not win.

Rambling: Nothing to Say

It's been a bad day, and since I don't trust myself to say anything good or interesting right now, I won't post much more.

15 yard penalty....

Rambling: Amusing Moment

I've been working on training my cat to do tricks, such as sit, stand, and roll over. It's become a huge fan of roll over. So much so that tonight, it decided to roll over without me asking it to do so. After completing the roll, it promptly started sniffing around for the food, expecting to get fed for doing a trick that I hadn't asked it to do, yet. That is a case of classical conditioning at its finest. And it's very amusing, too.

Elections are coming up. If you're over 18 and you've registered to vote, get out and vote!

Rant: This Is Why I Don't Like Dogs

I had an incident yesterday that reinforced my dislike of dogs in general. (This is not to say that there aren't certain dogs that I don't like. My brother has a very nice golden retriever.)
We're at the KCAA tournament in Wichita, and we're staying at a hotel way down on the south side of town. (Why, I don't know...) Anyway, I decided to go jogging Saturday morning, and since I didn't know the neighborhood, I decided to run down the main road that the hotel was near (aka 47th Street).

As I left, I prayed a silent prayer that God would protect me, although I figured I shouldn't run into any trouble since I was far south of the worst parts of the city. I was wrong.
I turned along the street and was about a minute down the road when I noticed two dogs roaming loose on the opposite side of the road. <rant>No sooner did I see the dogs than one, which later I thought might have been a pit bull, for no good reason at all made a bee line for me, across a busy street, barking and snarling like I had just called its mother a cat. I attempted to back away slowly, hoping that this was just some stupid territorial thing like most dogs have when an innocent unknown accidentally crosses the invisible boundary that somehow marks their territory. Unfortunately, I happened to back into a parking lot that was fenced in on three sides. There was no way out. I had no way of defending myself, either, nor did I have my cell phone to call for help. I was getting ready, in fact, to give that dog a good swift kick in the face if it had made any move to attack me. At the same time, I was wondering how much it would hurt to get mauled by a dog and if anyone would find me before the dog had finished snacking on me or I bled to death.
About that time, a truck drove into the neighboring lot, temporarily distracting my assailant and allowing me to put about 20-25 yards between me and it. Still, however, this evil fiend would not go away and allow me to continue my jog in peace. (Nor was the guy in the truck any help. He just sort of waved to me and drove his truck on to another part of the lot where I couldn't see him.) That's when God intervened and rescued me. A woman--incidentally a former postal worker who had been attacked by dogs on several occassions--happened to be driving down the road. She saw the dog start after me, and after a couple of minutes she was able to get herself turned around and into the parking lot where I was trapped. The arrival of her vehicle chased the moronic mutt away. She gave me a ride back to the hotel, where I proceeded to run laps in the parking lot for 15 minutes.
This is why I don't like dogs. I wasn't doing anything. I was minding my own business, and this mongrel that some owner let loose to snack on innocent joggers makes a deliberate effort to cross a busy road and corner me in a parking lot for who knows what reason. When, I ask you, was the last time you heard of a cat crossing a busy road and cornering an innocent jogger? (Stupid dog...)</rant>
Praise God for His protection that kept me from becoming puppy chow!

Rant: Media Bias

<rant>I think that I'm going to give up watching television for the next two weeks. Between the blatant liberal/Democrat bias within every news report and the out-of-control (and annoying) political ads, I'm sick of politics and the constant lying and mudslinging.
The national media's evening news is the worst. Here's the basic summary of their newscast:
"Good evening, I'm (insert anchor name here). Our top story tonight: Why Iraq is so horrible, even though it's 98% fine, and why President Bush is an evil ninny-head. After that, we'll give you some biased analysis that will attempt to make it sound like our favorite party, the Democrats, will take control of this country. Then, we'll follow with a poorly-conducted poll that shows that the Democrats will win, you will be assimilated, and resistance is futile." It's frustrating. There's no counter-point and no balanced coverage. It's like it's a no win scenario.
I wish that I could do something. Instead, all I can do is take a deep breath and let God be sovereign. I suppose the worst that could happen is that a bunch of horrible leaders will get elected and that He'll judge this country for its evil ways. Perhaps, though, He will be merciful, which will be my prayer from now until election day, and I'll be praying during every commercial break of the World Series, with the mute mercifully active on my television.</rant>

Rambling: Simple Providence

I was refereeing soccer games this weekend in the cold and rain, and in the midst of it all, I experience God's providence in a simple, small way. With one game left, the other two referees and I who were on the crew out at Felker Park went back to the shelter. Inside the area cordoned off for referees was a cheese pizza. Apparently, the people in charge of the tournament decided to deliver us a pizza. Anyway, we all had several pieces and then went to referee out final game. Now, I had planned on eating the last of the leftover chili after I got home. When I got home, though, and looked in my fridge, I discovered that I had already eaten the last of the chili and forgotten about it. I was reminded of Matthew 6:8, which says, in part, "your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."

How much like God is it to provide for something simple like a meal when I had miscalculated the amount of food I had! What a wonderful little blessing after a long, tiring day of cold, rainy weather! Thanks be to God!

Rambling: New Element

It was announced today that scientists in Russia have created a new element, number 118. If confirmed, this new element, which existed for only a millisecond (1 millionth of a second), would be the first man-made noble gas (same group as Helium). This is fascinating to science geeks like me, because it's interesting to see how many protons and neutrons we can possibly cram into a nucleus. The answer now is at least 118 protons. Now, the only question left is what to call the element. Just so the international society in charge of naming elements knows: my name is available for use.

Around the world, the reactions to this discovery have been mixed. North Korea immediately claimed that they have tested this element and will use it in a weapon if they don't get everything Kim Jong Il wants. Iran, meanwhile, claims that they already have developed the element, purely for peaceful purposes (of course). Islamofascists called for an all-out holy war against anyone who wasn't them. And France surrendered.
Locally, political reaction has also been interesting. Governor Sebelius immediately took credit for forcing the scientists back to work when they wanted to give up. Morrison, the AG candidate, immediately blamed the whole thing on his opponent, Kline. And France surrendered.
Thus concludes an interesting day in the wondeful world of science. Up next, finding something useful to do with any of these new elements.

Rambling: Movie Quotation

Because I can't think of anything else to post, here's another movie quote. This one's a tricky one. I'll be impressed if you can get it.
"Good shot, Red Two!"

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

Rambling: Whoops

So, I was scrambling out the door to try to get to the football game, and I realized when I get to the car that I forgot my hat. Quickly, I ran back up to my apartment, pulled open the the coat closet door (a bi-fold door), and grabbed the hat. The door was open for less than a minute. Then, I closed the door to keep my cat out of the closet and sprinted back to my car.

After the football game, I arrived home, expecting my cat to great me at the door meowing. However, when I got into my apartment, I heard the meowing, but couldn't see my cat. As I opened my coat closet door to hang up my coat, what should pop out of the closet but my cat! Poor thing, she somehow managed to get into the closet in the short time I had the door open. Then, she was trapped in there for a couple of hours while I was gone. She's fine, but it was certainly a surprise to see a cat come bounding out from that direction. Strange.

Rambling: How Bittersweet

An old friend of mine has gone to be with the Lord. She was advancing in years, but yet to so many of us, she was far too young to have departed. Yet in the midst of the bitterness of no longer having her here, the joy of knowing that she is now face-to-face with her beloved Lord and Savior envelops the bitterness and makes it somehow bearable, almost pleasant. She will be missed, yet I know that her life--indeed her death--have been a testimony to God's great love, mercy, and faithfulness. Praise the Lord!

Rambling: Ode to Mix Metaphors and Similies

Here's to mixed metaphors and similies, the glorious malapropisms that brighten the turbulent waters of our worst days. Like variety, they are the salt of the English language. They spice up sentences like roosters at dawn. Even a man with a heart of a stone lion knows a brilliant turn of cheek when he hears it. They can rain down on any parade of cats and dogs. And while English teachers may fight against them like a cheap Swiss watch, nothing is better for amusement than grabbing the bull by the horns and milking it for all its worth. Yes, without mixed metaphors writing would be dull like a barrel of monkeys. Yet, it seems that my ideas have reached the end of the rope with which to hang themselves. Thus, I must say farewell, parting the sea is such sweet sorrow.

Rambling: Yet Another Random Quotation

Woman: "Which one do you like, Carmen?"
Carmen: "I like the one who is not so bright."
Woman: "Which one is that?"

The Three Amigos