No Pouting

As a single man, the month (and a little more) starting at Thanksgiving and ending at New Year's can be one of the most difficult times in the year. It's not that I don't love my family and being around my parents and all of my siblings. I do. But the holidays of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's are all family-oriented holidays to me. And in the past, the lack of a family of my own (meaning a wife, kids, etc.) has been the cause of a negative attitude on my part towards my circumstances. This year, by God's grace, my goal is to make this next month a "No Pouting Zone." I am determined to enjoy what God has blessed me with instead of focusing on what He has not brought to pass. I've wasted far too many Decembers lamenting instead of celebrating. No more. It's time to rejoice as we enter Advent, a time of preparing to the celebrate once again the mystery of the Incarnation.

Ketchup.,..err...Catch-up Day

What a beautiful day that it is, and what a wonderful day to have a day off! Although ketchup will figure prominently in my plans for supper tonight (mmmm...sloppy joes), catch-up was the operative of the day. So far, I've accomplished many errands that I haven't been able to get to due to weather, Scholars' Bowl, or both. At this point, the only items left on today's to-do list are a long bike ride, supper, and relaxation. I'm looking forward to it, with a feeling of satisfaction and gratitude to God for a beautiful day that made catching up possible.

ISU-KSU Game Thoughts

Here are a few thoughts on a game that my alma mater could have won, if we had played better.
*ISU is a young team, and it played like one. It had three turnovers, one of them on a dropped option pitch that would have been a touchdown if the ball hadn't been fumbled. A holding penalty on an 88-yard touchdown run further showed signs of youth.
*If the ISU defenders could catch passes, they could have had 2-3 interceptions
*On the bright side, ISU ran the greatest fake punt that I have ever seen, a beautiful, "screen" like fake that fooled everyone, including me. I was not expecting it at all, K-State wasn't expecting it, and the result was amazing.
*Next year looks bright for ISU. A team that's a year older, a coach that is entering his third year, and a good chance to winning a conference game. ISU is still about 2 years away from being out of the Big XII North cellar, but there are signs of improvement. Who knows? ISU might well be challenging for the North division title here in a couple of years.

Raking Leaves...When?

I've got one more application of fertilizer (a "winterizer" batch) to apply to my minuscule front lawn. To complete that task, however, I need to get the leaves raked out of the way so they fertilizer lands on the grass and not the leaves. Finding time while the sun is up and the weather is nice has been difficult. Every day this week I've said to myself, "Self, I'm going to rake those leaves today once I get home from school." Invariably, though, something prevents me from getting home in time to get the leaves raked. I feel like I'm never going to get these leaves raked. I may just have to bite the metaphorical bullet tomorrow and rake leaves in the cold and wind. Or, I might just wait until next Tuesday.

Scattered Thoughts

Here are some scattered thoughts on a warm-ish, mostly cloudy Sunday:
--It's been quite a while since I've seen even a hint of snow falling in Topeka this early in the year, and yet, I saw snow flurries Saturday afternoon. It's not an unwelcome sight, although it is a bit surprising.
--Leaves must spontaneously generate, or be attracted to my yard somehow. It seems that I have more leaves in my yard than I have trees to generate them. Raking them will make for a couple of busy afternoons. Thankfully, it looks to be warmer than it was last week.
--My brother's new house is really nice.
--Do what you can. Start where you are. Use what you have.

Rant: Please, Not Until After Thanksgiving!

[rant]It's already started. From the moment November 1st dawned, some people--groups of people, really--have started to the inexorable march towards Christmas. Christmas decorations are already showing up in store windows and along city streets. Christmas (well, at least winter) music of the most saccharine kind is being blared from speakers in many stores. And I don't want to know how many radio stations started playing Christmas music already.
"So," you ask, "what's wrong with that?" Quite a bit, in my opinion. First of all, we have another holiday before Christmas, one that we should all be taking far more seriously than we currently do: Thanksgiving. Of course, in modern America, with its slowly-dying belief in God, the idea of giving thanks to the One who provided us with so much is becoming unthinkable. I guess I could understand why skipping it might be preferable. Second, and this is admittedly a personal taste issue, Christmas/winter music is a bit saccharine. Listening to it for two months is to me like eating a bag of sugar followed by drinking about 10 diet soft drinks in a row. The results just make me sick.
Once Thanksgiving is over, and the Advent season proper begins, I have no problem with Christmas music. In fact, I relish the thought of it. Which is why I don't want it spilling out into the streets right now: Christmas music loses its charm (its "specialness") when it becomes the default standard for 2 months. Give me 4 1/2 weeks of it, and I'll be good. But please, don't start roasting your chestnuts on an open fire until Jack Frost is nipping at your nose, which won't happen until after Thanksgiving.[/rant]

Interesting

I simply post this story here without comment. Read it and come to your own conclusions.
Planning Under Way for Obama Holiday.

Pondering Evolution/Intelligent Design

The theme of this weekend has been examining the debate surrounding Evolution. First, on Friday night, I finally got to see the movie "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed." The movie does a great job of looking at how academia is currently stifling debate over flaws in Evolution. In particular, those who espouse Intelligent Design (not to be confused with Creationism) face constant harassment or are forced to remain silent because they suggested that Neo-Darwinian evolution may not be valid. What especially disappoints me is that my alma mater, Iowa State, is one of the schools that stifled academic freedom. A few atheistic professors were able to convince the university to deny tenure to an Astronomy professor simply because he co-wrote a book that argued that the Earth could not have evolved as the result of chance. The fact that diverse opinions were not allowed to flourish at the university is just one incident in an attempt by many evolutionists to stifle any debate over Intelligent Design.
"But," many will say, "isn't evolution already establish as scientific fact, like gravity?" No, evolution is not a fact, neither is gravity, at least not in the sense of fact as we use it. (This was a part of our discussion in Sunday School, where we examined Darwinism's flaws in detail.) Gravitation and evolution are both theories that attempt to describe general patterns of reality. Theories always can be expanded or adjusted as more data comes in. In the case of gravitation, the theory has been updated and expanded over time thanks to Einstein's theory of General Relativity. In the case of Evolution, however, as we learn more and more about the complexity required for even the simplest organisms and simplest cells, we're discovering that blind Darwinian evolution simply could not have occurred. However, Evolution has been the dominant theory for so long (and its atheistic implications so important) that many mistakenly think that it is fact.
Given, however, the amount of irreducible complexity in even the simplest machines (and the lack of sufficient support from the fossil record), Evolutionary theory faces many, many challenges. It simply cannot continue as it is. As "Expelled" points out, rather than adjust their theories, some Evolutionary theorists have instead chosen to (with an almost-religious fervor) cling to the Theory of Evolution. The result has been a stifling of academic freedom and a lot of ad hominem attacks on those who attempt even a critique of Evolution.
I'm sorry to report that many of us who think that the Theory of Intelligent Design better explains life than Darwinism are neither ignorant nor stupid nor wicked. We simply are scientists who see significant discrepancies between the data and Evolutionary Theory and think that Intelligent Design Theory does a better job of explaining it. Unfortunately, in this current academic climate of "political correctness," Intelligent Design is anathema. Hopefully, one day there will be a recognition that Evolution is so deeply flawed that it must be rejected. But I won't be holding my breath.

Post-election Thoughts

*I had no confidence in the wisdom of the Americans voters. Now, I would say that my confidence is in the negatives, if that's possible. When the majority of Americans identify themselves as conservations and yet go vote for someone whose policies are, at best, left of center, it disturbs me greatly.
*The media won the election for Obama. Don't get me wrong; he ran a great campaign, but he could have run a C- campaign and still won because the media was so infatuated with him that they wouldn't run many negative stories about him. If we ever needed an example of what a sycophant looks like, I think we have found it in this year's media coverage.
*Whoever ran the McCain campaign should be disappointed with himself. The media were obviously against McCain (or at least not for him), and there were questions galore about whether he was young enough for the office. At the same time, his opponent was so far from the center and shifted his positions so constantly that McCain should have easily had the upper hand simply by pointing out the obvious. He didn't, at least not until it was too late.
*I wonder if I should live it up now before my taxes go through the roof in July, or whether I should save like crazy so I actually have a chance of eating something besides Ramen (or however you spell it) noodles for the next 4 years.
*It's interesting that when faced with the choice between 2 almost-identical candidates (Jenkins and Boyda), Kansans will vote for the Republican over the Democrat.
*In the end, I guess it all doesn't matter much. People have lived under far more horrible regimes than any that might occur in the next 4 years, and God ultimately is in control. So, I'm going to keep on doing what I'm doing and adjust to the circumstances as they come.

Beautiful Morning

When I got up this morning, the sun was already up, yet it was still very quiet. On my way back inside from my daily check of my rain gauge, I had to stop. The birds were silent, and the wind was at a whisper. No traffic had yet assaulted the roads. The only sounds were the intermittent click of leaves hitting the ground and a distant church carillon playing "Come Ye Thankful People Come." I stood there for what seemed like forever, breathing in the cool morning air and letting the near-silence wash over me.
Thanks to God for such a peaceful and beautiful start to the morning. If every day this autumn is going to be like that, I think I'm going to like it.

Election Season

Mercifully, election season all comes to an end in just under a week. And then, we have to live with the consequences for 2 years. Of course, we have "nothing to fear but fear itself."
To all the undecided voters, I urge you to ask yourselves "not what your country can do for you," but rather "what you can do for your country." Government simply cannot solve all of our problems, and in some cases, it can make them worse.
Questions of all sorts keep cropping up. Is McCain too old? Is Barack Obama really ready to lead the country? Are voters going to vote on the basis of policies or on personality? I guess "it all depends on what your definition of 'is' is." I mean, we could be facing a "nu-cue-lar" stand off with Iran, and I would hate to see that part of the "axis of evil" triumph because we chose the wrong guy.
For those of you who have reached the point of apathy long ago, let me say, "Read my lips: I feel your pain." The good news is that in 2 years, we'll have mid-term elections, which will allow us to make changes to our government if we don't like the way things are going. The only question, then, is whether any group can destroy a country in two years. Let's hope not. May God have mercy on America!

Exhausted

Wow, this past week took more out of me than I expected. I was going to try to post about 1 Corinthians 7, a passage that is quite hard for me to understand, but I simply don't have the mental energy right now to process anything that complex or deep. I guess it's one passage where I often find myself wishing it said something different than what it says. But that is human nature, is it not, to wish for things to be our way instead of God's?

Rain, Rain, and More Rain

As often is the case in Kansas, it's the weather that's making the biggest story around. It's been raining nearly non-stop for the past 24 hours, and I would guess that we must be near 1.5 inches in the past 24 hours. That's a lot of rain in a short time. It's been a cool, wet year overall, and that's made for a welcome change after several hot, dry years. For now, I'm going to go enjoy being inside where it's warm and dry.

Singleness

Some rambling thoughts on singleness in a rough draft form. Critiques, disagreements, suggestions, and notifications of typos are always appreciated.

It's amazing to me how often at church, the pastor feels it necessary to mention marriage and romantic relationships in sermons. It seems that a Sunday doesn't go by that the whole idea of marriage isn't brought into a sermon, whether it validly fits or not. And each time he asks, "Do you remember when you first started dating your spouse," I catch myself thinking, "No, and I have no idea what that was like." And more than once, I've caught myself, to quote Caedmon's Call, wondering if "Maybe I have the gift that everyone speaks so highly of / Funny how nobody wants it."
The gift that everyone speaks so highly of is singleness (or celibacy), and it amazes me how we (myself included) react with such dislike to the idea of such a state being a gift. It's almost like we treat singleness not as a gift but as a curse. I know that I often react with disdain to the idea that somehow, I may be single the rest of my life. I want to scream to God that it's not fair. Men who see women as objects wind up married, while men who would make excellent husbands (perhaps I'm in that group; I'm hardly an objective judge of myself) are bachelors. It makes no sense. Most people in the Church react similarly, and prefer not to think about the issue since they can't make it reconcile with all of the "marriage language" in Scripture.
Jesus, however, addresses this very issue in commenting on marriage. He says, "For some For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage [or made themselves eunuchs] because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it" (Matthew 9:12, NIV). (I think that, based on the context, it seems safe to say that Jesus is thinking about marital status when he uses the word "eunuch" here, which is probably why the NIV renders the last of the three phrases "renounced marriage" instead of "made themselves eunuchs.")
Based on this passage, there seem to be at least three classes of people who never marry. One is those who were born with some sort of physical condition (severe mental retardation, e.g.) that prevents them from functioning in a marital relationship. A second are those who because of something done to them, never marry, and the third group are those who forgo marrying in order to devote themselves fully to God.
The vast majority of single people in churches today fall into the second class. They are unmarried because of something done to them, whether by others or by themselves. The key here is that these people often do not want to be where they are. The Church, I'm afraid, has not handled this group very well. They too often try to treat them as if they belonged in the first or third classes, instead. Some unintentionally treat those who are single as if there is something wrong with them, and shuffle them off into singles' groups, where their "needs" can be addressed. The thinking seems to be a sort of "put the mutants all at table 9" attitude. This sort of approach does nothing to help a person with the gift of singleness learn to treat singleness as a gift. Instead, it simply devalues the person by telling him, "You're anathema because you're not married. Get away from us, you freak!" The result is a feeling of being worthless not only in the eyes of others but also in the eyes of God.
At the same time, other people try to treat everyone who is single as if they are single because they are on some sort of "mission from God." The most frequent refrain of these people is "just remember that Jesus was single and that Paul was single." This attempted encouragement, while well-meaning, tells the single person that his singleness is God's way of making the single person more spiritual. It ignores, however, that Paul and Jesus both chose singleness "for the kingdom of God." Most people who are single, however, did not choose their state. It was forced upon them in some way, meaning that they don't want to be in the condition that they are in. Thus, when someone tells a single person that his singleness makes him more spiritual because he is like Paul or Jesus, the single person invariably feels inferior because he isn't super-spiritual the way people say they should be. The end result of this sort of counsel is a feeling of inferiority.
I've talked a little about how not to treat those who are in the second classification of those who have the gift of singleness. I want to take a moment, as one who may well be a part of the second group (even though I pray daily that I am not), to suggest some ways that the Church might better handle those who are single. First, remember that they are human beings just like anyone else. They are no more broken than any married person, and need friendships with others who share their interests, not just their marital status. Second, remember that just because a person is single, do not automatically assume that he doesn't understand the time pressures that families face. Single people face time pressures far worse than any family because if a chore has to be done, the only person to do it is the single person. Third, be careful how marriage is held up in services and teaching. Discuss it, treat it with honor, and use it sometimes as an analogy, but don't refer to it constantly. Constantly talking about marriage will only accentuate the pain a single person feels and make them feel inferior. Lastly, while singles-only small groups are great, all single people to be part of small groups with married people if their natural inclinations so lead. This will allow the single person to feel less isolated from the rest of the Body of Christ.
Again, these ideas are my first attempt to delve into this issue in a logical fashion. I'm sure that they overstate (or understate) certain aspects. I welcome any thoughts or corrections. And I hope and pray daily that God, in His mercy, will see fit to bring into my life a woman of God with whom I can happily share many years of worshiping and enjoying Him and the life He has given us. Yet, I also know that at my age and in my circumstances, I may well be one of those who has "the gift that everyone speaks so highly of." If I do indeed have this gift, then it's getting to the point where I need to stare the facts square in the face and begin to try to be a member of class three: those who renounce marriage for the glory of God.

Soccer and Cool Weather

I just got home from refereeing 2 soccer games at Hummer Park. With the cool weather setting in, I was definitely cold by the time I got done with game #2. I'm glad that soccer season is starting to wind down. I'm ready for a break.

Weird Writer's Block

I'm suffering from an odd form of writer's block: I have about 5 half-formed ideas and nothing yet worthy of posting. So, here's a picture of a beautiful sunset. Maybe my thoughts will get reset by Wednesday.

Post-Debate Thoughts

Some random thoughts after watching the debates last night:
Senator Obama's claim that most small business make less than $250,000 is a bit of a stretch to my mind. Yes, there are a few business that don't have a gross income of over $250,000, but I'd be surprised if 95% of small business gross less than $250,000. As far as profits go, of course, most small business have a net profit far less than $250,000.
Senator McCain just looks old.
Senator Obama is all about style. Whenever he talks, I feel like he's speaking a lie but is doing it eloquently so that he hopes no one will notice.
Senator Obama's "Oh, yeah, me, too" moment on Russia was pretty amusing. After Senator McCain had said what he thought we ought to do about Russia's aggression in Georgia, Obama's first statement was that he agreed with McCain. I wonder what Obama would have said if he went first...
At the end of the debate, Tom Brokaw had an embarrassing moment. When he couldn't see the teleprompter, he didn't know how to end the debate and had to ask the candidates to move by saying, "You guys are blocking my script." It played to every stereotype of news anchors as being incapable of thought because all they do is read off teleprompters. I'm sure that Mr. Brokaw is not that dense, but it was amusing.
And the most sickening part was the post-debate analysis by one columnist from the New York Times. He said that he thought Obama won. When pressed as to why, he gave an answer that was so fawning, I will paraphrase it this way: "Obama's so smooth, so personable, and so likeable, that if I were a woman and he weren't married, I'd want to marry him." It sickens me how much the media seem to obsess over Obama. Listening to the media talk about Obama is a bit like listening to a bunch of groupies at a rock concert.
This election, more than any other, has served to increase my cynicism for the entire political process and for any hope for this country. Like a lot of voters, I really would like a legitimate third option, one that isn't so old he looks like he'll die 2 years into office and one that also doesn't come across as so arrogant that you have to wonder if he's running for President because he loves his country or because he's enjoying the ego boost. Sigh. Oh, well. It's what we've got. It's a good thing that in the end, it is God who is ultimately in control of it all.

More Twists

The twists and turns that make up this year keep coming, both good and bad. This year has been full of more unexpected occurrences than I have ever encountered in one year. From misplaced computer files to leaky water heaters, from unusual soccer senior nights to the unstable economy, and from unexpected affirmations and encouragements from parents at the school to the rare moments of unplanned time off, this year has been full of challenges and blessings that I never could have predicted. In the midst of all of this uncertainty, the hardest part is staying focused on allowing God to be the Lord of my circumstances, trusting Him to work out the details that I am powerless to affect. If I can find a way, by His grace, to rest in Him more and enjoy the ride, this year, like a roller coaster, promises to be an exciting and enjoyable year. Now, the challenge becomes enjoying the "roller coaster."

Good Expectations

Last time, I wrote about expectations and how they can detrimentally affect our perception of reality. Expectations do not always, however, serve such a negative purpose. Indeed, without expectations, we easily sink into apathy and failure (like '90s grunge rockers). Expectations serve the legitimate purpose of motivating us (or someone else) to achieve more than we would otherwise accomplish.
Consider the case of a soccer team. If a coach sets low expectations for his team, the end result will be a team that accomplishes little. If, however, the coach sets high (yet realistic) expectations for his team, the team will perform well. Likewise, in our own lives, if we expect nothing from ourselves, nothing is precisely what we will get. If, however, we expect ourselves to live to a certain standard, we will try to live up to that standard. (Obviously, some of us set the standard too high, but that's another story.) Therefore, expectations function as a driving force, urging us onward to become something more than we otherwise would become.
As a side note, just as unmet expectations are a source of anger and conflict in relationships, so exceeded expectations are a source of joy and wonder. To eliminate expectations in order to avoid the anger of unmet expectations means that we often would have to live without the joy of exceeded expectations. While I know first-hand the pain of unmet expectations, I also know that I would not trade the joy of having people around me surpass my expectations.

Expectations

Lately, I've been pondering the effect that our expectations have on how we perceive reality, and, in turn, how those perception (sometimes incorrect), affect our actions and reactions. While this rough draft essay is far from perfect, it is an attempt to summarize in a somewhat coherent fashion, many of the diverse threads that are running through my mind on this issue.
While expectations can serve a good purpose, too often expectations can cause us to deceive ourselves about the truth and thus have incorrect responses to the circumstances of life.
Let me start with a classic illustration from the early 1900s. French scientists, determined to make a breakthrough to bring glory back to their country, believed that they had discovered a new form of radiation, dubbed "N rays." These rays had certain properties that could be observed by using a specially constructed device that identified the unique signature of these "rays." After a failed experiment of his own, an American scientist went to France to observe the collection of "N ray" data. Prior to one of the experiments, he secretly replaced the object that was supposed to be emitting "N rays" with a piece of wood and removed a prism from the apparatus. There was no way that the French scientists should have been able to detect "N rays." Yet, amazingly enough, the French scientists still reported the exact same "N ray" readings as before, because they expected to see them. These scientists fell guilty to allowing their expectations to influence improperly their perception of reality.
Before we have too long a laugh at the expense of the French, we should realize that we are too guilty of having incorrect expectations ourselves. I can think of times when I've been attracted to a woman and misinterpreted her actions because of my desire for her to show reciprocal interest in me. Likewise, we all know of students who have told themselves that they are "stupid" enough times that they stop trying in school, even when they are perfectly capable. Expectations, then, often cause us to twist the truth to suit our liking.
The problem with this twisting is two-fold. First, when we begin to make decisions based upon incorrect presuppositions, we will (eventually) wind up taking an action that results in negative consequences for us or for someone else, as was the case for our "failing" student above. Second, when we have unrealistic expectations of others, we often find ourselves disappointed and angry. How many marriages in this country, how many friendships, how many familial relationships, have been wrecked because of unrealistic expectations from one or both parties?
The solution to the problem posed by expectations is not to refuse to have expectations. Having no expectations results only in complacency, since we will accept anything if we expect nothing. (Perhaps this explains the current state of the American political system, but I digress...)
The solution to the problem posed by expectations is to have a "check" on our expectations. We need to examine them to make sure that they are in accord with reality. Often, when we find our expectations unmet, we tend to get angry and assume that our expectations were right to begin with. Instead, we should take a moment to examine our expectations to see if we had any reasonable right to hold them in the first place. For instance, many people get angry at God for some reason or another ("God didn't save me from this or that tragedy"). They expect that somehow, they deserve from God nothing but good. The become angry with God for not meeting their expectations. The way to recover from this is anger is to realize that, in reality, we are all sinners, deserving of nothing less than hell itself. That God is often merciful to us, both believers and unbelievers, by allowing good to happen in our lives does not mean that we have any right to expect such good from Him. For it was not because of our own goodness that God chose to save those of us who believe. Rather, it was by his grace alone that we are able to exercise complete trust in Jesus Christ and live a life glorifying to God. And I digress.
Expectations, as we've seen briefly, do wind up affecting us more powerfully at times than any of us would care to admit. The key to living without unrealistic expectations is to check our expectations periodically against an absolute standard. Often, we will need outside help (a friend, a pastor, a family member, God's Word) to do so.
Expectations, though, are not always bad. That discussion, though, belongs to another blog post.