Rambling: Sudden Change in Weather

The last two days have been the epitome of Kansas weather. Yesterday, Topeka set a record high of 73 degrees. It was a beautiful day, more like Spring than Fall. Today, on the other hand, saw an arctic cold front blast into the region, bringing with it freezing rain, sleet, and a chance for snow. The high for today of 43 occurred at a little after midnight. That seems downright balmy compared to the current conditions: 25 degrees with a wind chill of 15. Nearly a fifty degree swing in 24 hours! Amazing! What a fascinating and varied world it is that God has made.

"Discovery, go to throttle up."

Rambling: It's Too Early

It's already started. Thanksgiving is over. And with Thanksgiving over, almost everyone has their eyes set on one thing: Christmas. (This excludes retailers who've been putting Christmas decorations since October.) Already radio stations are rolling out the Christmas music. For me, though, it's too early. Advent, the season on the Liturgical calendar that precedes Christmas, doesn't begin until next Sunday, December 3rd. And like the calendar, I'm just not ready for Christmas to start, yet.

I'll never understand what it is that so many people find so attractive about Christmas that they feel it necessary to start celebrating the holiday months and months in advance. Don't get me wrong. I rejoice in the Incarnation, that God so loved the world that He chose to come as a child, grow up, and die on the cross for our sins. But for me, it's possible to overload on all the "joy." "Hark the Herald Angles Sing" is nice to hear for a while before it (and every other Christmas carol, secular or sacred) becomes trite.
Now, once Advent hits, you can be sure that the tree will come out and that the Christmas songs are going to be on my iTunes playlist. But until then, I'm going to be jumping stations on my radio every time Christmas songs come on. Anything more would only result in "Christmas overload."

Rambling: Ones and Zeroes

10010010 11001011 10011111

Forbes Tower, Cessna November 734837 is 9 miles Northeast with November, requesting vectors to the active, to land.

Rambling: Bad Analogies

From deep within the archives, here's a little English lesson on analogies for your reading pleasure.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m.traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.


The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

Commentary: Uh, What?

Read this bizarre story, courtesy of ABC News. The basic gist is that Iran's ambassador to the UN has complained about Israel threatening to bomb Iran. He has demanded that the Security Council order Israel to quit threatening Iran.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Okay, I'm back. Sorry about that; I couldn't help it. That is probably one of the most absurd statements I have ever read. Here is Iran, whose President consistently has called for Israel to be wiped off the map and whose country is attempting to develop nuclear weapons, protesting that Israel is considering acting to prevent such an attack. It must have been "Pull a Prank on the UN Day" or something, because I can't imagine anyone in his right mind actually sending such a letter to the UN and meaning it. Just more unusual behavior from the world's most unpredictable political regime.

It's sort of like Iran saying, "Mommy, brother's threatening to hit me back!"

Rambling: Bad Connection

I just got a sales call from my phone company. I've been trying to avoid them for several days because I really am satisfied with my service as it is and don't want to make any changes. However, tonight I finally answered the phone. However, the connection was quite bizarre. The conversation went something like this.

Me: Hello?
Heard on the phone in my voice (Phone): Hello?
Some guy from India (SGFI): Hello?
Me: Hello?
Phone: Hello?
SGFI: (Something indistinct)
Me: Hello?
Phone: Hello?
SGFI: May I speak with _________, please?
Me: This is he
Phone: This is he
SGFI: Mr. ___________ I am calling on behalf of _____, your current phone company. I want you to know that this phone call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes. How are you today, sir?
Me: Okay
Phone: Okay
SGFI: That's good sir. The reason I am calling, sir, is that we have some wonderful new packages that could save you a lot of money on your telephone bill. How much are you currently paying for your phone service, $50, $60?
Me: Hang on
Phone: Hang on
SGFI: Okay, sir
[Random noise as I grab my headset and try to use it instead of just my cell phone)
Me: Okay
Phone: Okay
SGFI: Okay
Me: I'm afraid we've...
Phone: I'm afraid we've...
Me: ...got a terrible connection
Phone: ...got a terrible connection
SGFI (probably not believing me): Oh, I see
Me: I can hear...
Phone: I can hear...
Me: ...myself twice, better than you
Phone: ...myself twice, better than you
SGFI (still confused and not sure what to do): So, we have some great packages available
Me: I'm quite happy...
Phone: I'm quite happy...
Me: ...with my current service
Phone: ....with my current service
SGFI: I see, sir. Thank you for your time. You may call us at _____________. Have a nice day.
Me: Thank you
Phone: Thank you

I don't know what system they were using to transmit the phone call between the cell system and India, but it was not working at all. It was very disconcerting to hear yourself twice (hear yourself twice). That leaves me with only one question to ponder: does this mean that I am beside myself?

Rant: Election Results

<rant>I'm frustrated and saddened by the current election results. People are out voting against President Bush by voting out quality, Republican candidates and by voting in candidates from the Democrat party who, I fear, are going to do serious damage to this country. Meanwhile, the media is busy gloating as much as possible. They're all smiles and laughing because they have to know that they are the ones who are responsible for the public disliking Bush. They have successfully manipulated the foolish American public by all the negative reporting on Iraq. (A question just asked on the tv, "What could the Republicans have done differently to win?" My answer: have allies in the news media the way the Democrat party does.) Congratulations to the news media! They're the real winners of this election.</rant>

The only question I still have: When will my taxes go up by $2500 a year? I need to know when I'm not going to be able to afford to live in safe, acceptable housing.

Commentary: Election Tomorrow

The election is tomorrow. Go out and vote! If you're not sure which candidates to vote for, check out your local paper, which should have published a voter guide yesterday. There's probably version of it also at your local paper's website.
With the election tomorrow, I realized that it was time for me to betray my obvious political bias (just like a certain local Topeka paper that will remain nameless) and comment on each of the state-wide races, including my endorsement for each position.

Governor
Incumbent: Kathleen Sebelius (D). Challenger: Jim Barnett (R).
Analysis: Sebelius, with a campaign bank account that could go a ways to alleviating the national debt, has outspent Barnett about 10 to 1. In her previous four years in office, in my opinion, Sebelius has done very little except appoint liberal, activist judges and show up at photo opportunities. Notably, she sat by while the state's Supreme Court violated the state Constitution and ordered the Legislature to come up with a half billion dollar education funding increase that the state couldn't afford. After the Legislature (at metaphorical gunpoint from the court), passed a spending package sure to bankrupt the state, Sebelius, who had nothing to do with it, promptly stepped in to take credit for it.
Endorsement: Jim Barnett. His proposals, while modest, at least show some awareness of the situation and a willingness to fix the financial crisis in which Kansas will find itself in the next two or three years. Barnett is an intelligent man, more mainstream than the left-leaning Sebelius, and a better candidate for governor than we've had in years.
Prediction: Sadly, money is what wins elections, and Sebelius and her bloated war chest will probably carry the day, unless large numbers of conservative and moderate get out to vote her out of office.

Attorney General
Incumbent: Phill Kline (R). Challenger: Paul Morrison (D)
Analysis: You knew this campaign would be ugly when Morrison switched parties just so he could run for attorney general. Morrison's campaign has showed no integrity, assailing Kline's character at every turn, misrepresenting Kline's views on every issue, and overall just flat out lying about everything. (Unfortunately, Kline has fired back with just as much negativity and dirt. I'm disappointed in that. Still, I'm more disappointed that Morrison's not been taken to task for his own negativity.)
Endorsement: Kline. Between Morrison's switch of parties and his taking of significant amounts of money from abortionist George Tiller (despite Morrison claiming to be anti-abortion), Morrison has not shown the character necessary for attorney general. While Kline has not run a good campaign, he is by far the better choice because of his strong stand against abortion and his effective work in the past four years.
Prediction: Kline by 1%. Morrison gained initial momentum while Kline's campaign was sitting around on its thumbs. By the time Kline made an attempted comeback, he was forced to go negative, which I fear may turn off a lot of uninformed voters. However, I think the conservative vote and a lot of grassroots efforts will just be enough to allow Kline to squeak by.

U.S. House, District 2
Incumbent: Jim Ryun (R). Challenger: Nancy Boyda (D)
Analysis: Two years ago, Boyda's campaign slogan could have been "I'm just like Jim Ryun." That was all she ever said. She had no good ideas--indeed, no ideas at all--and she still managed to challenge Ryun somehow. This time around, her campaign slogan could easily be "I'm not Jim Ryun," and she still has no ideas. She has no specifics about any plan at all, and seems to be campaigning for change, although she won't say what kind of change she would bring.
Endorsement: Ryun. He's a strong, solid leader who listens to Kansans and votes for their views, even standing up to President Bush when necessary. Ryun has been an effective representative for years, and it would be a shame to lose him just because of frustration with Bush's handling of Iraq.
Prediction: Once again, the Democrat candidate is out-spending the Republican (where is all this money coming from, anyway?). This time, however, I think that Ryun will win. It will be closer than last time because of public irritation with Iraq, but enough of the 2nd district realizes that Boyda is bad for Kansas that she will not win.

Rambling: Nothing to Say

It's been a bad day, and since I don't trust myself to say anything good or interesting right now, I won't post much more.

15 yard penalty....

Rambling: Amusing Moment

I've been working on training my cat to do tricks, such as sit, stand, and roll over. It's become a huge fan of roll over. So much so that tonight, it decided to roll over without me asking it to do so. After completing the roll, it promptly started sniffing around for the food, expecting to get fed for doing a trick that I hadn't asked it to do, yet. That is a case of classical conditioning at its finest. And it's very amusing, too.

Elections are coming up. If you're over 18 and you've registered to vote, get out and vote!

Rant: This Is Why I Don't Like Dogs

I had an incident yesterday that reinforced my dislike of dogs in general. (This is not to say that there aren't certain dogs that I don't like. My brother has a very nice golden retriever.)
We're at the KCAA tournament in Wichita, and we're staying at a hotel way down on the south side of town. (Why, I don't know...) Anyway, I decided to go jogging Saturday morning, and since I didn't know the neighborhood, I decided to run down the main road that the hotel was near (aka 47th Street).

As I left, I prayed a silent prayer that God would protect me, although I figured I shouldn't run into any trouble since I was far south of the worst parts of the city. I was wrong.
I turned along the street and was about a minute down the road when I noticed two dogs roaming loose on the opposite side of the road. <rant>No sooner did I see the dogs than one, which later I thought might have been a pit bull, for no good reason at all made a bee line for me, across a busy street, barking and snarling like I had just called its mother a cat. I attempted to back away slowly, hoping that this was just some stupid territorial thing like most dogs have when an innocent unknown accidentally crosses the invisible boundary that somehow marks their territory. Unfortunately, I happened to back into a parking lot that was fenced in on three sides. There was no way out. I had no way of defending myself, either, nor did I have my cell phone to call for help. I was getting ready, in fact, to give that dog a good swift kick in the face if it had made any move to attack me. At the same time, I was wondering how much it would hurt to get mauled by a dog and if anyone would find me before the dog had finished snacking on me or I bled to death.
About that time, a truck drove into the neighboring lot, temporarily distracting my assailant and allowing me to put about 20-25 yards between me and it. Still, however, this evil fiend would not go away and allow me to continue my jog in peace. (Nor was the guy in the truck any help. He just sort of waved to me and drove his truck on to another part of the lot where I couldn't see him.) That's when God intervened and rescued me. A woman--incidentally a former postal worker who had been attacked by dogs on several occassions--happened to be driving down the road. She saw the dog start after me, and after a couple of minutes she was able to get herself turned around and into the parking lot where I was trapped. The arrival of her vehicle chased the moronic mutt away. She gave me a ride back to the hotel, where I proceeded to run laps in the parking lot for 15 minutes.
This is why I don't like dogs. I wasn't doing anything. I was minding my own business, and this mongrel that some owner let loose to snack on innocent joggers makes a deliberate effort to cross a busy road and corner me in a parking lot for who knows what reason. When, I ask you, was the last time you heard of a cat crossing a busy road and cornering an innocent jogger? (Stupid dog...)</rant>
Praise God for His protection that kept me from becoming puppy chow!

Rant: Media Bias

<rant>I think that I'm going to give up watching television for the next two weeks. Between the blatant liberal/Democrat bias within every news report and the out-of-control (and annoying) political ads, I'm sick of politics and the constant lying and mudslinging.
The national media's evening news is the worst. Here's the basic summary of their newscast:
"Good evening, I'm (insert anchor name here). Our top story tonight: Why Iraq is so horrible, even though it's 98% fine, and why President Bush is an evil ninny-head. After that, we'll give you some biased analysis that will attempt to make it sound like our favorite party, the Democrats, will take control of this country. Then, we'll follow with a poorly-conducted poll that shows that the Democrats will win, you will be assimilated, and resistance is futile." It's frustrating. There's no counter-point and no balanced coverage. It's like it's a no win scenario.
I wish that I could do something. Instead, all I can do is take a deep breath and let God be sovereign. I suppose the worst that could happen is that a bunch of horrible leaders will get elected and that He'll judge this country for its evil ways. Perhaps, though, He will be merciful, which will be my prayer from now until election day, and I'll be praying during every commercial break of the World Series, with the mute mercifully active on my television.</rant>

Rambling: Simple Providence

I was refereeing soccer games this weekend in the cold and rain, and in the midst of it all, I experience God's providence in a simple, small way. With one game left, the other two referees and I who were on the crew out at Felker Park went back to the shelter. Inside the area cordoned off for referees was a cheese pizza. Apparently, the people in charge of the tournament decided to deliver us a pizza. Anyway, we all had several pieces and then went to referee out final game. Now, I had planned on eating the last of the leftover chili after I got home. When I got home, though, and looked in my fridge, I discovered that I had already eaten the last of the chili and forgotten about it. I was reminded of Matthew 6:8, which says, in part, "your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."

How much like God is it to provide for something simple like a meal when I had miscalculated the amount of food I had! What a wonderful little blessing after a long, tiring day of cold, rainy weather! Thanks be to God!

Rambling: New Element

It was announced today that scientists in Russia have created a new element, number 118. If confirmed, this new element, which existed for only a millisecond (1 millionth of a second), would be the first man-made noble gas (same group as Helium). This is fascinating to science geeks like me, because it's interesting to see how many protons and neutrons we can possibly cram into a nucleus. The answer now is at least 118 protons. Now, the only question left is what to call the element. Just so the international society in charge of naming elements knows: my name is available for use.

Around the world, the reactions to this discovery have been mixed. North Korea immediately claimed that they have tested this element and will use it in a weapon if they don't get everything Kim Jong Il wants. Iran, meanwhile, claims that they already have developed the element, purely for peaceful purposes (of course). Islamofascists called for an all-out holy war against anyone who wasn't them. And France surrendered.
Locally, political reaction has also been interesting. Governor Sebelius immediately took credit for forcing the scientists back to work when they wanted to give up. Morrison, the AG candidate, immediately blamed the whole thing on his opponent, Kline. And France surrendered.
Thus concludes an interesting day in the wondeful world of science. Up next, finding something useful to do with any of these new elements.

Rambling: Movie Quotation

Because I can't think of anything else to post, here's another movie quote. This one's a tricky one. I'll be impressed if you can get it.
"Good shot, Red Two!"

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

Rambling: Whoops

So, I was scrambling out the door to try to get to the football game, and I realized when I get to the car that I forgot my hat. Quickly, I ran back up to my apartment, pulled open the the coat closet door (a bi-fold door), and grabbed the hat. The door was open for less than a minute. Then, I closed the door to keep my cat out of the closet and sprinted back to my car.

After the football game, I arrived home, expecting my cat to great me at the door meowing. However, when I got into my apartment, I heard the meowing, but couldn't see my cat. As I opened my coat closet door to hang up my coat, what should pop out of the closet but my cat! Poor thing, she somehow managed to get into the closet in the short time I had the door open. Then, she was trapped in there for a couple of hours while I was gone. She's fine, but it was certainly a surprise to see a cat come bounding out from that direction. Strange.

Rambling: How Bittersweet

An old friend of mine has gone to be with the Lord. She was advancing in years, but yet to so many of us, she was far too young to have departed. Yet in the midst of the bitterness of no longer having her here, the joy of knowing that she is now face-to-face with her beloved Lord and Savior envelops the bitterness and makes it somehow bearable, almost pleasant. She will be missed, yet I know that her life--indeed her death--have been a testimony to God's great love, mercy, and faithfulness. Praise the Lord!

Rambling: Ode to Mix Metaphors and Similies

Here's to mixed metaphors and similies, the glorious malapropisms that brighten the turbulent waters of our worst days. Like variety, they are the salt of the English language. They spice up sentences like roosters at dawn. Even a man with a heart of a stone lion knows a brilliant turn of cheek when he hears it. They can rain down on any parade of cats and dogs. And while English teachers may fight against them like a cheap Swiss watch, nothing is better for amusement than grabbing the bull by the horns and milking it for all its worth. Yes, without mixed metaphors writing would be dull like a barrel of monkeys. Yet, it seems that my ideas have reached the end of the rope with which to hang themselves. Thus, I must say farewell, parting the sea is such sweet sorrow.

Rambling: Yet Another Random Quotation

Woman: "Which one do you like, Carmen?"
Carmen: "I like the one who is not so bright."
Woman: "Which one is that?"

The Three Amigos

Rambling: Anyone Seen My Hand?

So, with Pascal growing to a more typical adult-sized cat, I thought it might be a good idea to see if I could get a special cat harness on her. This is all part of my "clever" plan to be able to allow her to have some time to run around outside under my control and supervision (such as on my deck at the back of my apartment). However, putting a harness on a cat is not easy to do, especially with a cat that loves to attack anything and everything. I set the harness as small as I could, and then attempted to put it on the cat. After numerous bite marks and scratches, as well as some meows of protestation, I managed to get the harness on, only to discover that I had set it too small. :-(

So, with much effort, enduring more bite and scratch marks--and especially more protests--I foolishly tried to adjust the harness while it was on the cat. Not a good idea. Cats don't like having things on them, much less having people mess with stuff that's on them. (Note to self: wear gloves next time...) I was unable to get the harness adjusted correctly. Pascal's neck is just too thin to allow a harness or collar to sit comfortably on right now. So, after about 5 minutes that seemed like 30, I decided to get the harness off her again. I'll try putting it on again once Pascal is older and closer to being fully grown.
Meanwhile, I think all of my limbs are still intact, which in attempting such a foolish task as putting a harness on a cat is always a blessing. More fun is in store, though, as it is time for the application of the monthly flea control potion. The nightmares of doing that by oneself can only be partially understood by the uninitiated, but I've already covered that problem in a previous post.