Rant: This Is Why I Don't Like Dogs

I had an incident yesterday that reinforced my dislike of dogs in general. (This is not to say that there aren't certain dogs that I don't like. My brother has a very nice golden retriever.)
We're at the KCAA tournament in Wichita, and we're staying at a hotel way down on the south side of town. (Why, I don't know...) Anyway, I decided to go jogging Saturday morning, and since I didn't know the neighborhood, I decided to run down the main road that the hotel was near (aka 47th Street).

As I left, I prayed a silent prayer that God would protect me, although I figured I shouldn't run into any trouble since I was far south of the worst parts of the city. I was wrong.
I turned along the street and was about a minute down the road when I noticed two dogs roaming loose on the opposite side of the road. <rant>No sooner did I see the dogs than one, which later I thought might have been a pit bull, for no good reason at all made a bee line for me, across a busy street, barking and snarling like I had just called its mother a cat. I attempted to back away slowly, hoping that this was just some stupid territorial thing like most dogs have when an innocent unknown accidentally crosses the invisible boundary that somehow marks their territory. Unfortunately, I happened to back into a parking lot that was fenced in on three sides. There was no way out. I had no way of defending myself, either, nor did I have my cell phone to call for help. I was getting ready, in fact, to give that dog a good swift kick in the face if it had made any move to attack me. At the same time, I was wondering how much it would hurt to get mauled by a dog and if anyone would find me before the dog had finished snacking on me or I bled to death.
About that time, a truck drove into the neighboring lot, temporarily distracting my assailant and allowing me to put about 20-25 yards between me and it. Still, however, this evil fiend would not go away and allow me to continue my jog in peace. (Nor was the guy in the truck any help. He just sort of waved to me and drove his truck on to another part of the lot where I couldn't see him.) That's when God intervened and rescued me. A woman--incidentally a former postal worker who had been attacked by dogs on several occassions--happened to be driving down the road. She saw the dog start after me, and after a couple of minutes she was able to get herself turned around and into the parking lot where I was trapped. The arrival of her vehicle chased the moronic mutt away. She gave me a ride back to the hotel, where I proceeded to run laps in the parking lot for 15 minutes.
This is why I don't like dogs. I wasn't doing anything. I was minding my own business, and this mongrel that some owner let loose to snack on innocent joggers makes a deliberate effort to cross a busy road and corner me in a parking lot for who knows what reason. When, I ask you, was the last time you heard of a cat crossing a busy road and cornering an innocent jogger? (Stupid dog...)</rant>
Praise God for His protection that kept me from becoming puppy chow!

Rant: Media Bias

<rant>I think that I'm going to give up watching television for the next two weeks. Between the blatant liberal/Democrat bias within every news report and the out-of-control (and annoying) political ads, I'm sick of politics and the constant lying and mudslinging.
The national media's evening news is the worst. Here's the basic summary of their newscast:
"Good evening, I'm (insert anchor name here). Our top story tonight: Why Iraq is so horrible, even though it's 98% fine, and why President Bush is an evil ninny-head. After that, we'll give you some biased analysis that will attempt to make it sound like our favorite party, the Democrats, will take control of this country. Then, we'll follow with a poorly-conducted poll that shows that the Democrats will win, you will be assimilated, and resistance is futile." It's frustrating. There's no counter-point and no balanced coverage. It's like it's a no win scenario.
I wish that I could do something. Instead, all I can do is take a deep breath and let God be sovereign. I suppose the worst that could happen is that a bunch of horrible leaders will get elected and that He'll judge this country for its evil ways. Perhaps, though, He will be merciful, which will be my prayer from now until election day, and I'll be praying during every commercial break of the World Series, with the mute mercifully active on my television.</rant>

Rambling: Simple Providence

I was refereeing soccer games this weekend in the cold and rain, and in the midst of it all, I experience God's providence in a simple, small way. With one game left, the other two referees and I who were on the crew out at Felker Park went back to the shelter. Inside the area cordoned off for referees was a cheese pizza. Apparently, the people in charge of the tournament decided to deliver us a pizza. Anyway, we all had several pieces and then went to referee out final game. Now, I had planned on eating the last of the leftover chili after I got home. When I got home, though, and looked in my fridge, I discovered that I had already eaten the last of the chili and forgotten about it. I was reminded of Matthew 6:8, which says, in part, "your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."

How much like God is it to provide for something simple like a meal when I had miscalculated the amount of food I had! What a wonderful little blessing after a long, tiring day of cold, rainy weather! Thanks be to God!

Rambling: New Element

It was announced today that scientists in Russia have created a new element, number 118. If confirmed, this new element, which existed for only a millisecond (1 millionth of a second), would be the first man-made noble gas (same group as Helium). This is fascinating to science geeks like me, because it's interesting to see how many protons and neutrons we can possibly cram into a nucleus. The answer now is at least 118 protons. Now, the only question left is what to call the element. Just so the international society in charge of naming elements knows: my name is available for use.

Around the world, the reactions to this discovery have been mixed. North Korea immediately claimed that they have tested this element and will use it in a weapon if they don't get everything Kim Jong Il wants. Iran, meanwhile, claims that they already have developed the element, purely for peaceful purposes (of course). Islamofascists called for an all-out holy war against anyone who wasn't them. And France surrendered.
Locally, political reaction has also been interesting. Governor Sebelius immediately took credit for forcing the scientists back to work when they wanted to give up. Morrison, the AG candidate, immediately blamed the whole thing on his opponent, Kline. And France surrendered.
Thus concludes an interesting day in the wondeful world of science. Up next, finding something useful to do with any of these new elements.

Rambling: Movie Quotation

Because I can't think of anything else to post, here's another movie quote. This one's a tricky one. I'll be impressed if you can get it.
"Good shot, Red Two!"

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

Rambling: Whoops

So, I was scrambling out the door to try to get to the football game, and I realized when I get to the car that I forgot my hat. Quickly, I ran back up to my apartment, pulled open the the coat closet door (a bi-fold door), and grabbed the hat. The door was open for less than a minute. Then, I closed the door to keep my cat out of the closet and sprinted back to my car.

After the football game, I arrived home, expecting my cat to great me at the door meowing. However, when I got into my apartment, I heard the meowing, but couldn't see my cat. As I opened my coat closet door to hang up my coat, what should pop out of the closet but my cat! Poor thing, she somehow managed to get into the closet in the short time I had the door open. Then, she was trapped in there for a couple of hours while I was gone. She's fine, but it was certainly a surprise to see a cat come bounding out from that direction. Strange.

Rambling: How Bittersweet

An old friend of mine has gone to be with the Lord. She was advancing in years, but yet to so many of us, she was far too young to have departed. Yet in the midst of the bitterness of no longer having her here, the joy of knowing that she is now face-to-face with her beloved Lord and Savior envelops the bitterness and makes it somehow bearable, almost pleasant. She will be missed, yet I know that her life--indeed her death--have been a testimony to God's great love, mercy, and faithfulness. Praise the Lord!

Rambling: Ode to Mix Metaphors and Similies

Here's to mixed metaphors and similies, the glorious malapropisms that brighten the turbulent waters of our worst days. Like variety, they are the salt of the English language. They spice up sentences like roosters at dawn. Even a man with a heart of a stone lion knows a brilliant turn of cheek when he hears it. They can rain down on any parade of cats and dogs. And while English teachers may fight against them like a cheap Swiss watch, nothing is better for amusement than grabbing the bull by the horns and milking it for all its worth. Yes, without mixed metaphors writing would be dull like a barrel of monkeys. Yet, it seems that my ideas have reached the end of the rope with which to hang themselves. Thus, I must say farewell, parting the sea is such sweet sorrow.

Rambling: Yet Another Random Quotation

Woman: "Which one do you like, Carmen?"
Carmen: "I like the one who is not so bright."
Woman: "Which one is that?"

The Three Amigos