Expectations

Lately, I've been pondering the effect that our expectations have on how we perceive reality, and, in turn, how those perception (sometimes incorrect), affect our actions and reactions. While this rough draft essay is far from perfect, it is an attempt to summarize in a somewhat coherent fashion, many of the diverse threads that are running through my mind on this issue.
While expectations can serve a good purpose, too often expectations can cause us to deceive ourselves about the truth and thus have incorrect responses to the circumstances of life.
Let me start with a classic illustration from the early 1900s. French scientists, determined to make a breakthrough to bring glory back to their country, believed that they had discovered a new form of radiation, dubbed "N rays." These rays had certain properties that could be observed by using a specially constructed device that identified the unique signature of these "rays." After a failed experiment of his own, an American scientist went to France to observe the collection of "N ray" data. Prior to one of the experiments, he secretly replaced the object that was supposed to be emitting "N rays" with a piece of wood and removed a prism from the apparatus. There was no way that the French scientists should have been able to detect "N rays." Yet, amazingly enough, the French scientists still reported the exact same "N ray" readings as before, because they expected to see them. These scientists fell guilty to allowing their expectations to influence improperly their perception of reality.
Before we have too long a laugh at the expense of the French, we should realize that we are too guilty of having incorrect expectations ourselves. I can think of times when I've been attracted to a woman and misinterpreted her actions because of my desire for her to show reciprocal interest in me. Likewise, we all know of students who have told themselves that they are "stupid" enough times that they stop trying in school, even when they are perfectly capable. Expectations, then, often cause us to twist the truth to suit our liking.
The problem with this twisting is two-fold. First, when we begin to make decisions based upon incorrect presuppositions, we will (eventually) wind up taking an action that results in negative consequences for us or for someone else, as was the case for our "failing" student above. Second, when we have unrealistic expectations of others, we often find ourselves disappointed and angry. How many marriages in this country, how many friendships, how many familial relationships, have been wrecked because of unrealistic expectations from one or both parties?
The solution to the problem posed by expectations is not to refuse to have expectations. Having no expectations results only in complacency, since we will accept anything if we expect nothing. (Perhaps this explains the current state of the American political system, but I digress...)
The solution to the problem posed by expectations is to have a "check" on our expectations. We need to examine them to make sure that they are in accord with reality. Often, when we find our expectations unmet, we tend to get angry and assume that our expectations were right to begin with. Instead, we should take a moment to examine our expectations to see if we had any reasonable right to hold them in the first place. For instance, many people get angry at God for some reason or another ("God didn't save me from this or that tragedy"). They expect that somehow, they deserve from God nothing but good. The become angry with God for not meeting their expectations. The way to recover from this is anger is to realize that, in reality, we are all sinners, deserving of nothing less than hell itself. That God is often merciful to us, both believers and unbelievers, by allowing good to happen in our lives does not mean that we have any right to expect such good from Him. For it was not because of our own goodness that God chose to save those of us who believe. Rather, it was by his grace alone that we are able to exercise complete trust in Jesus Christ and live a life glorifying to God. And I digress.
Expectations, as we've seen briefly, do wind up affecting us more powerfully at times than any of us would care to admit. The key to living without unrealistic expectations is to check our expectations periodically against an absolute standard. Often, we will need outside help (a friend, a pastor, a family member, God's Word) to do so.
Expectations, though, are not always bad. That discussion, though, belongs to another blog post.

Expectations, Sort Of

I had planned on blogging on expectations and how they affect our actions and reactions. It's something that I've pondering quite a bit lately. In an ironic twist, though, I haven't had the time that I expected to pull my thoughts together coherently. For now, though, I will say that I am fascinated about how much our expectations can be a source of conflict, as well as source of misunderstanding between people.

Interesting Week Ahead

This coming week should prove to be another interesting one: we have two big soccer games, one against Cornerstone (an in-town "rival" of sorts) and one against Tri City in Kansas City (a definite, friendly rival). On top of that, I have all of the typical tasks of a teacher, as well, in addition to needing some time to rest. It will be an interesting week.... The busyness sometimes makes me wonder why I still coach soccer. Oh, yes, it's because I enjoy it and enjoy the chance to build relationships with my students.

Cold+Busy Week=Tired

I have a cold. I have a busy week that includes an away game at Sunrise tomorrow. I'm not going to post anything more because I want to take advantage of my unscheduled time while I have it. And listen to K-State football.

Rain and Busyness

Busyness kept me from keeping to my scheduled blogging, which shows where it falls on the priority list: low. Still, I'll sort of "bridge the gap" between postings by making one now and then waiting until Wednesday (hopefully) for the next one.
The story around Topeka (all of NE Kansas, really) is the rain. It has poured all day. It's been a long time since I've seen it pour like this for so long. It was decidedly tropical in nature. And while the moisture source was ultimately the remnants of a Pacific hurricane, the forcing mechanisms were extratropical: a slow-moving cold front and a shortwave hitting at the same time.
I received over 2 inches of rain Thursday and Friday, and I think more is on the way for tomorrow. It will continue to make this summer (it's still technically summer) one of the coolest and wettest that this part of the country has seen in many years.

Puzzling Circumstances

My circumstances, as I expected before the year started, have gotten puzzling. I will spare you the boring details. Suffice it to say that I am staring at complex situations. Partially, I did it to myself, and partially, God has put these circumstances across my path. Either way, I know that as PFR says in one of their songs, "I got here by myself, but I know that I will never leave the same way." Or as Jehoshophat, faced with overwhelming odds from enemy armies, says in 2 Chronicles 20:12b, "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you." (You, in this case, refers to God.) My circumstances may be puzzling me, but they are not a puzzle to God, and in the end, it is He who will work His will in these circumstances. My task is to do as Jehoshophat did: turn my eyes to the Lord, pray, and then listen to Him and to wise council. I'm going to need it.

Rain and Cool Weather

I could comment in detail on the Presidential election and the games that the media and the Democrats are playing by trying to slander John McCain's choice for VP. But I won't. I don't care. I'm sick of Presidential politics right now and all the stupid games that both parties are playing so that it's nearly impossible to discern the truth.
Instead, I'm going to focus on the wonderful, unseasonable weather that we have here in Topeka. The temperature is not even 60 degrees, and light rain has been falling on and off all day. The cool temperatures are courtesy of a cold front that pushed through yesterday afternoon, but the rain is courtesy of the remnants of Hurricane Gustav. So, the end result is a wonderful, late-October-type day that is perfectly suited for running. And that's what I plan to do, go out and enjoy a nice, relaxing jog without worrying about how long it takes me. And no matter who is elected President, they won't be able to take that away from me!